I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Step #2: Hook up’s are the shit. Like your pimp stick... It’s a crucial hook up cuz chin checking and knuckling back are tools of the trade. So tilt your brim when you dealin in skin, cuz dome pieces let 'em know you paid. Then bling-bling-a-bling-a-bling cause no Ho can resist a platinum and diamond beveled ring.
Step #3: Peep game: Don't forget to take a shower! Cuz smelling so fresh and so clean ain't just a song homie... It's knowledge! Crack open a bottle of Jean Paul Gaultier or some other fine pimp fragrance.

Pimp-in Yo Ride:
If you riding in a rust bucket... It’s time to say "Fuck It". Cuz no Ho works all night long, brings dough from Joe Blow and sings that song. So throw it in the gutter and go buy another.
You ain’t gotta be in a Caddie to be a Pimp Daddy. Just make sure it’s clean. When in doubt... Chevy Cutlass it out. Tint that shit first thing. Next, slap on some rims that spin... That’s how you start to get that skin.
Now step inside and peep yo ride. It’s sheep skin covers for bang’n ruckus... But fur dice and plasmas make your shit the toughest. One last thing: Keep pimp-in yo ride from the outside-in and the Ho’s will know you're pimp-in skin.

Pimp Game:
Pimp-in is a mind set... And you need to check yours. When you know you pimp-in, I mean really know your pimp-in, the Ho’s will too.
Game or (Pimp Juice) as it is sometimes called, is like your mojo. The kind of shit nigga’s kill fo. So peep the Pimp Game... By now your style should be in order and when you look like a pimp you can start to feel like a pimp.
You keeping up with PC homie? A'ight then... Time to move on to the Ho's.

Pimp-in Ho's
With pride you enter a room... Knowing every Ho sees you, and with style you glide through. But pay those Ho's no mind. Cuz as you peeped when you came through, know those Ho’s peeped too.
But don’t get it twisted, all that glimmering ice got those Ho’s listen’n. When the Ho’s come to holler, break 'em off Game that’s proper. Ask the questions, then listen, she’ll tell you her saga. Be her counselor, psychologist, priest and her father. Then she'll be that ho... now that’s the Don Dada.

Pimp-in Ain't Easy
But somebody’s gotta do it!
Look... you can’t have all the beauty and none of the booty. Like lazy-ass Ho’s or the damn Po-Po. Just when yo spot starts to make a knot, "One-Times" there to kill the whole plot. You gotta deal with the strung and the spun... and believe me that ain’t no fun. But the worst is the time in a cell, cuz you be mad as hell when you ain’t got no bail.

Bad Date Excuses: If your date ever uses any of these lines, you know its game over.

1. I have to floss my cat.

2. I've dedicated my life to linguini.

3. I want to spend more time with my blender.

4. The President said he might drop in.

5. The man on television told me to say tuned.

6. I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.

7. I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.

8. It's my parakeet's bowling night.

9. It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.

10. I'm building a pig from a kit.

11. I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.

12. I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.

13. There's a disturbance in the Force.

14. I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.

15. I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.

16. I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.

17. I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.

18. I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawal.

19. I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.

20. My crayons all melted together.

21. I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.

22. I'm in training to be a household pest.

23. I'm getting my overalls overhauled.

24. My patent is pending.

25. I'm attending the opening of my garage door.

26. I'm sandblasting my oven.

27. I'm worried about my vertical hold.

28. I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.

29. I'm being deported.

30. The grunion are running.

31. I'll be looking for a parking space.

32. My Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.

33. The monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.

34. I'm taking punk totem pole carving.

35. I have to fluff my shower cap.

36. I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.

37. I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other.

38. I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.

39. My plot to take over the world is thickening.

40. I have to fulfill my potential.

41. I don't want to leave my comfort zone.

42. It's too close to the turn of the century.

43. I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.

44. My subconscious says no.

45. I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.

46. I left my body in my other clothes.

47. The last time I went out, I never came back.

48. I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.

49. I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.

50. None of my socks match.

51. I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.

52. I'm having all my plants neutered.

53. People are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.

54. I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.

55. I'm making a home movie called "The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator."

56. I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.

57. My yucca plant is feeling yucky.

58. I'm touring China with a wok band.

59. My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.

60. I never go out on days that end in "Y."

61. My mother would never let me hear the end of it.

62. I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism.

63. I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put it down.

64. I'm too old/young for that stuff.

65. I have to ash/condition/perm/curl/tease my hair.

66. I have too much guilt.

67. There are important world issues that need worrying about.

68. I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship.

69. I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others.

70. I promised to help a friend fold road maps.

71. I feel a song coming on.

72. I'm trying to be less popular.

73. My bathroom tiles need grouting.

74. I have to bleach my hare.

75. I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.

76. I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.

77. You know how we psychos are.

78. My favorite commercial is on TV.

79. I have to study for a blood test.

80. I'm going to be old someday.

81. I've been traded to Cincinnati.

82. I'm observing National Apathy Week.

83. I have to rotate my crops.

84. My uncle escaped again.

85. I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.

86. I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.

87. I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.

88. I have to go to court for kitty littering.

89. I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.

90. I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.

91. Having fun gives me prickly heat.

92. I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.

93. I have to jog my memory.

94. My palm reader advised against it.

95. My Dress For Obscurity class meets then.

96. I have to stay home and see if I snore.

97. I prefer to remain an enigma.

98. I think you want the OTHER [your name].

99. I have to sit up with a sick ant.

100. I'm trying to cut down.

101. My asthma is acting up again

102. That would interfere with my time to wait for the government to take me away.

103. You're ugly, I'm busy, have a nice day

104. Its my goldfish's birthday

105. Uh, I have stuff to do.

106. I have to make an air sandwich

107. I have to hide the bodies.

108. I don't have time to go on a date...with YOU!

109. I have to wash my hair.

110. I have to clean my toilet

111. I need to spend quality time with my weed wacker

112. I need to clean the air in my room

113. My hamster is having a heart transplant and I need to stay for moral support.

114. I caught a rare deadly African disease that's highly contagious.

115. My gerbil is getting married.

116. I have plans to clean the cracks in my floor

117. Sorry, when you came to my door I mistook you for a mormon and took cover.

118. I had to rob your house

119. That's the night I reorganize my rock collection.

120. Pinnochio is on tonight

121. I have to try out for the ice skating team at school.

122. I don't date outside my species

123. Sorry I think I'm gay

124. I have to go...........over..............there.

125. My butt is to big in this dress

126. I have to take out the trash

127. My dog had baby kittens.

128. I can't, I need to take my computer apart and put it back together.

129. I have to go shopping for my mother.

130. I'm sorry, I have to rotate the strings on all of my shoes.

131. No

132. I told my car I would tenderly rub wax into it's body

133. I have to go for my full body wax appointment

134. I can't I was asked to go to another party w/o you

135. I don't date goats!

136. Ally Mcbeal is on

137. I'm reading with my widower

138. I have to brush my teeth.

139. Alf comes on soon

140. I'm sick.

141. I've had a better offer, some bloke is coming round to set fire to my head

142. I'm busy cleaning the blood off my axe

143. My dad said I can't date till I am married

144. I'm shaving my dog.

145. It's against my religion to date people named (insert relevant name)

146. My grandma is on fire.

147. I'm getting married tonight.

148. I'm engaged.

149. I don't want to ruin our friendship.

150. I have family in town.

151. I just washed my hair.

152. It's that time of the month again.

153. My father's grandmother's aunt's mother died.

154. I have to take down the Christmas lights.

155. I have to go to a surprise party for my grandma's birthday.

156. I left my tolerance in another coat.

157. I just got back together with my ex

158. I don't like people.

159. I have to alphabetize my CDs. (Hey, is that supposed to be insulting to me? -- dan)

160. I might see someone who knows me.

161. My brother's sister's mum's son's dad died.

162. I would, but it would be a complete waste of make-up.

163. My pet snake is constipated again.

164. I have a phobia of people named (insert name here).

165. I have to teach my pig to sing.

166. I just got sick (right after you asked me out).

167. My dog is too tired.

168. I never said I'd go out with you, that was my evil twin.

169. I would go out with you but my waiting list is full.

170. There's a four hour TV special on trimming shrubbery.

171. I'm washing the sofa.

172. I have to milk my cow.

173. Everquest.

174. I don't want to miss Martha Stewart's premiere.

175. I have to teach my frog how to croak.

176. I'm too busy watching the paint dry.

177. The "Rocky" marathon is on that night.

178. I promised my mum I'd bathe the hamster.

179. I tripped over an ant and broke my leg.

180. I need to clip my nose hairs.

181. I have to read the labels on all of my food.

182. You are extremely unattractive. Sorry, someone had to tell you.

183. I'm gay.

184. I don't like you.

185. My goat broke a horn.

186. I have to go to the dentist.

187. I have to brush my dog's teeth.

188. I must go in search of my charms which were stolen by an angry leprechaun.

189. I'm going to the moon.

190. My water wings are flat.

191. I have to stay home and give my goldfish a bath.

192. I'm going to be playing with my mental blocks.

193. I have to wax the driveway.

194. I'm not into dating right now.

195. I'm teaching my goldfish how to play the electric guitar.

196. I'm teaching my dog to meow.

197. I have to watch Oprah.

198. I like you, but my friends said I can't go out with you.

199. I like your best friend.

200. I'm complicated to go out with.

201. I just found out we're related.

202. On my list of things to do, seeing you is at the bottom.
Etiquette: Oral Etiquette (by a female)

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.

2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.

4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.

5. My ears are NOT handles.

6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.

8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right now.

9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.

10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.

12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.

13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.

14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.

16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".

A Man's thoughts on Fellatio aka Rebuttal Etiquette (by a male)

1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.

2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.

3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?

4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.

5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!

6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me.

7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.

8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.

9. Play with the balls.

10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.

11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!

12. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".

13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?
Hangover Ratings: Does any of this sound somewhat familiar?

1 star hangover *

No pain. No real feeling of illness.. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 bottles of water and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a Cheeseburger and a side of fries.

2 star hangover **

Slight headache. Don't feel sick, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a stapler. The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a full English breakfast. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanour about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is aimlessly surfing the net and writing junk e-mails.

3 star hangover ***

Definite headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space cadet and so not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer kicked you out at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a litre of coke watching Good Morning with Richard and Judy. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 2 Sausage Rolls and a litre of diet coke - yet you haven't peed once.

4 star hangover ****

Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might honk. You have lost the will to live. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars), your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein
and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Moss side secondary school circa 1976. You would give a weeks pay for one the following: 1. Home time, 2. A duvet and somewhere to be alone, or 3. A time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.

5 star hangover (aka Dante's 4th Circle of Hell) *****

You have a second heartbeat in your head which is actually scaring the employee who sits next to you. Death seems pretty good right now. You can't focus as your eyes are scrunched up against the overpowering glare from your computer screen Rancid vodka vapour is seeping out of every pore, staining your shirt and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth, at least you think it's toothpaste crust. You don't give a damn either way. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva and your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Talking is not an option. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because all you can manage to do is breathe....very gently.
Redneck Sex Test: 1. The clitoris is a type of flower.
True or False

2. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.
True or False

3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.
True or False

4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack.
True or False

5. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
True or False

6. A G-string is part of a fiddle.
True or False

7. Semen is a term for sailors.
True or False

8. Anus is a Latin term for yearly.
True or False

9. Testicles are found on an Octopus.
True or False

10. Asphalt describes rectal problems.
True or False

11. KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati.
True or False

12. Masturbate is used to catch large fish.
True or False

13. Coitus is a musical instrument.
True or False

14. Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.
True or False

15. An umbilical chord is part of a parachute.
True or False

16. A condom is a large apartment complex.
True or False

17. An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir.
True or False

18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.
True or False

19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.
True or False

20. An erection is when Japanese people vote.
True or False

21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.
True or False

22. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.
True or False

23. Pornography is the business of making records.
True or False

24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.
True or False

25. Douche is the French word for "twelve".
True or False
Don't Say That: Things NOT to Say to a Naked Man...

That's it?

Wow - look at all the hair on your back!

Maybe you should start going to the gym more.

That was fine, dear...pass me my vibrator?

Thats a shame, maybe we should grab a video instead?

Wake me when it's over, ok?

I think the condom's too big.

Zzzzzz....

You want me to what?!?

Well, that explains the padded pants.

Did you take out the garbage yet?

My husband's in the Marines.

He's due home any day now.

Is that a toupee?

So THAT'S what your ex warned me about!

No.

Surgery might be able to help.

Not until you've showered.

That must be my mother on the phone.

Your brother's bigger.

Your best friend's better.

Are you done yet?

Wow! Look at the size of your.....beer gut!

Size doesn't REALLY matter, dear.

You might want to see a doctor about that.

Hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!
Things NOT to say to a naked woman...

Cool, I've never been to the Grand Canyon.

How many storage boxes can you fit in there?!

You must be very experienced.

Remember, you said this was a freebie...right?

Wait, let me get a board and rope so I don't fall in.

I gotta take off my watch, wouldn't wanna lose it.

Why do you wear a bra when you've already got a belt.

Would you mind rolling around in this flour.

I heard carpenters dream about you.

So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

Look....I can get my whole arm in.

It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

Is that an optical illusion?

If I look right at it I feel like I'm falling in.

Would you mind wearing a paper sack on your head?

Do you mind if I wear one too...in case yours falls off?

Jeez...What ya got up there, dead fish?

I heard you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.

Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?

I've been wondering all night what that smell was.

Maybe if I get really wasted I wont mind your body.

You know they have surgery to fix that.

Everybody down at the bar said you were good.

Oh, that's why they call it a Wonderbra, it makes those lines go away.

Huh? They told me your name was Jezebel.

I expect a good time, at least, the bathroom wall said so.

You're not as ugly as people claim, not quite anyway.

You're not 'that' fat.

I see why everyone said, with you, it's better with the lights out.

Wow, you like it the same way your little sister does.
How They Do It: ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures.

ACTORS do it on cue.

ADVERTISERS use the "new, improved" method.

AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker.

ANSI does it in the standard way

ARCHEOLOGISTS like it old.

ARCHITECTS have great plans.

ARTISTS are exhibitionists.

ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over.

ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus.

ATTORNEYS make better motions.

AUDITORS like to examine figures.

BABYSITTERS charge by the hour.

BAILIFFS always come to order.

BAKERS knead it daily.

BAND MEMBERS play all night.

BANKERS do it with interest - penalty for early withdrawal.

BARBERS do it with shear pleasure.

BARTENDERS do it on the rocks.

BASEBALL PLAYERS make it to first base.

BASKETBALL PLAYERS score more often.

BEEKEEPERS like to eat their honey.

BEER BREWERS do it with more hops.

BEER DRINKERS get more head.

BICYCLISTS do it with 10 speeds.

BOOKKEEPERS do it with double entry.

BOSSES delegate the task to others.

BOWLERS have bigger balls.

BRICKLAYERS lay all day.

BRIDGE PLAYERS try to get a rubber.

BUS DRIVERS come early and pull out on time.

BUTCHERS have better meat.

C'Bers do it on the air.

CAMPERS do it in a tent.

CARPENTERS hammer it harder.

CARPET LAYERS do it on the floor.

CHEERLEADERS do it with more enthusiasm.

CHEMISTS like to experiment.

CHESS PLAYERS check their mates.

CHIROPRACTORS do it by manipulation.

CLOCK MAKERS do it mechanically.

CLOWNS do it for laughs.

COACHES whistle while they work.

COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs.

COCKTAIL WAITRESSES serve highballs.

COMPUTER GAME PLAYERS just can't stop.

COMPUTER OPERATORS get the most out of their software.

CONSTRUCTION WORKERS lay a better foundation.

CONSULTANTS tell other how to do it.

COPS have bigger guns.

COWBOYS handle anything horny.

COWGIRLS like to ride bareback.

CRANE OPERATORS have swinging balls.

CREDIT MANAGERS always collect.

DANCERS do it in leaps and bounds.

DEADHEADS do it with Jerry.

DEER HUNTERS will do anything for a buck.

DENTAL HYGIENISTS do it till it hurts.

DENTISTS do it in your mouth.

DETECTIVES do it under cover.

DIETICIANS eat better.

DIRECT MAILERS get it in the sack.

DIVERS do it deeper.

DOCTORS do it with patience.

DRUGGISTS fill your prescription.

DRUMMERS do it in 4/4 time.

DRY WALLER'S are better bangers.

ELECTRICIANS check your shorts.

ENGINEERS charge by the hour.

EXECUTIVES have large staffs.

FARMERS spread it around.

FIREMEN are always in heat.

FISHERMEN are proud of their rods.

FOOTBALL PLAYERS are measured by the yard.

FOUR-WHEELERS eat more bush.

FURRIERS appreciate good beaver.

GARBAGE MEN come once a week.

GARDENERS have 50 foot hoses.

GAS STATION ATTENDANTS pump all day.

GEOLOGISTS are great explorers.

GOLFERS do it in 18 holes.

GYMNASTS mount and dismount well.

HACKERS do it with fewer instructions.

HAIRDRESSERS give the best blow jobs.

HAM OPERATORS do it with frequency.

HANDYMEN like good screws.

HEWLETT PACKARD does it with precision.

HORSEBACK RIDERS stay in the saddle longer.

HUNTERS do it with a bang.

INSURANCE SALESMEN are premium lovers.

INTERIOR DECORATORS do it all over the house.

INVENTORS find a way.

JANITORS clean up afterwards.

JEWELERS mount real gems.

JOGGERS do it on the run.

LANDSCAPERS plant it deeper.

LAWYERS do it in their briefs.

LIBRARIANS do it quietly.

LOCKSMITHS can get into anything.

LONG DISTANCE RUNNERS last longer.

MACHINISTS make the best screws.

MAGICIANS are quicker than the eye.

MAINTENANCE MEN sweep 'em off their feet.

MANAGERS supervise others.

MARKETING REPs do it on commission.

MILKMEN deliver twice a week.

MILLIONAIRES pay to have it done.

MINERS sink deeper shafts.

MINISTERS do it on Sundays.

MISSILE MEN have better thrust.

MODELS do it in any position.

MODEM MANUFACTURERS do it with all sorts of characters.

MOTORCYCLISTS like something hot between their legs.

MOVIE STARS do it on film.

MUSICIANS do it with rhythm.

NONSMOKERS do it without huffing and puffing.

NURSES call the shots.

OCEANOGRAPHERS do it down under.

OPERATORS do it person-to-person.

OPTOMETRISTS do it face-to-face.

PAINTERS do it with longer strokes.

PARAMEDICS PHOTOGRAPHERS do it with a flash.

PHYSICISTS do it with uniform harmonic motion.

PILOTS keep it up longer.

PLUMBERS do it under the sink.

POLICEMEN like big busts.

POLITICIANS do it for 4 years then have to get re-erected.

POSTMEN come slower.

PRINTERS do it without wrinkling the sheets.

PRINTERS reproduce the fastest.

PROCTOLOGISTS do it in the end.

PROFESSORS do it by the book.

RACERS like to come in first.

RACQUETBALL PLAYERS do it off the wall..

RADIO and TV ANNOUNCERS broadcast it.

REAL ESTATE PEOPLE know all the prime spots.

RECYCLERS use it again.

REPAIRMEN can fix anything.

REPORTERS do it daily.

RESEARCHERS are still looking for it.

RETAILERS move their merchandise.

ROOFERS do it on top.

RUNNERS get into more pants.

SAILORS like to be blown.

SALESPEOPLE have away with their tongues.

SCIENTISTS discovered it.

SECRETARIES do it from 9 to 5.

SKYDIVERS are good till the last drop.

SOCCER PLAYERS have leather balls.

SPEECH PATHOLOGISTS are oral specialists.

SPELUNKERS do it underground.

SPORTSCASTERS like an instant replay.

STEWARDESSES do it in the air.

STUDENTS use their heads.

SURGEONS are smooth operators.

TAILORS make it fit.

TAXI DRIVERS do it all over town.

TAXIDERMISTS mount anything.

TELEPHONE CO. EMPLOYEES let their fingers do the walking.

TELLERS can handle all deposits and withdrawals.

TENNIS PLAYERS have fuzzy balls.

TRUCK DRIVERS have bigger dipsticks.

TRUCKERS carry bigger loads.

TYPISTS do it in triplicate.

VETERINARIANS are pussy lovers.

VOLLEYBALL PLAYERS keep it up.

WAITRESSES serve it piping hot.

WATER SKIERS come down harder.

WELDERS have hotter rods.

WRESTLERS know the best holds.

WRITERS have novel ways.

I'd like to meet:

Please sign my GuestBook.

Media

Music:

Television:

Books:

Heroes:

Can I borrow a hammer?

What is your occupation?

Some tough mice!

Crisco!

Asking for too much!

I am going on vacation!

You and your brother!

Im a big flirt!

A very helpful doctor!

Scooby dooby dooby!!!

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