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 Lenny's Profile |
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If God watches out for children, drunks and fools, then I have a 2/3 better chance for divine interv |
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| Age: | 49 years old |
| Sex: | Male |
| Location: | Los Osos, CALIFORNIA |
| Country: |  United States |
| Height: | 0' 0" |
| Zodiac: |  Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21) |
| Last Login: | Jun 26, 2008 (501 days back) |
| I am Here For Friends and Networking. | |
About Me |
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Born and raised on Long Island, I graduated from Nassau Community College in 1980 with an A.A. in Liberal Arts. But what the hell was I gonna do with an A.A. in Liberal Arts?! So I moved west shortly thereafter and, in 1983, graduated from Cal. State Fullerton with a B.A. in American Studies. But what the hell was I gonna do with a B.A. in American Studies?! I didn't get discouraged, though. A lifelong television junkie, I'd always dreamt of writing sitcoms ... and decided to move to L.A. to pursue it! While chasing my dream, I worked many odd jobs including shoe salesman, Zamboni driver, bartender, and my favorite - substitute teacher. Having no luck peddling my TV scripts, I did what most failed writers do; I returned to college to obtain a teaching credential. It was during this time (late 80s) that I began penning a fictionalized account of my life as an aspiring writer/substitute teacher. Some interesting reviews for NO ONE'S EVEN BLEEDING - Read Review Read Review Read Review Read Review NO ONE'S EVEN BLEEDING is available for purchase at your local bookstore. (If they don't stock it, they can order it.) It's also available at most on-line bookstores, including... Buy NOEB from Amazon Buy NOEB from B&N Buy NOEB from Publisher WANT A FREE COPY OF NO ONE'S EVEN BLEEDING? Just follow the below link. Apply for a "No Annual Fee" Visa card from Buy.com and get a $30 instant credit. Purchase No One's Even Bleeding along with another item, and if your total is $30, you get both for free! And because the purchase price is over $25, ya also get free shipping! (But ya MUST choose "free shipping" as your delivery option/method.) - Free Copy of No One's Even Bleeding ONE DAY, HOPEFULLY... 11/16/06 Dear Santa, Can ya get me a new publicist for Christmas? My current one isn’t doing much to promote my book, 1225 Mistletoe Lane! And while you’re at it, do ya know Tim Allen? People tell me my book would make a good Christmas movie, and Mr. Allen seems to make an awful lot of Christmas movies… Thanks Santa, Lenny 11/18/06 Dear Lenny, I received your (above) letter the other day and decided to do some research into the matter. So I called your publisher, and was told that you don’t have a publicist. From what they told me, YOU do all of the marketing and promotion for 1225 Mistletoe Lane. Because you weren’t honest with me, I can not honor your request. Santa p.s. BTW, contrary to your note of 12/24/05, you DIDN’T bake those cookies. The Keebler Elves are personal friends of mine, and I know their work when I taste it! 11/20/06 Dear Santa, I wasn’t dishonest. I merely neglected to state that the publicist, with which I’m displeased, is me. And re: the cookies - let’s review my note… Dear Santa, From me to you. Baked with love, Lenny “From me to you” - the cookies were, in fact, a gift from me to you. “Baked with love” - As I understand it, the Keebler Elves bake ALL of their products with love. So ya see, Santa? I wasn’t dishonest; ya merely misinterpreted my letter. BTW, I heard you’re havin’ some labor disputes with the elves’ union. I can help ya with that. I’m Italian and grew up in N.Y., so I know a guy who knows a guy… Lenny p.s. If ya reconsider the publicist thing, how ‘bout hookin’ me up with YOUR guy? It’s not even Thanksgiving, yet for the last 2 months, I see your face everywhere I go. Or how ‘bout Borat’s guy? Borat seems to be everywhere these days, too! 11/22/06 Dear Lenny, You know a guy who knows a guy who can do WHAT?! You can’t possibly be suggesting what I THINK you’re suggesting! Didn’t you learn ANYTHING in all those years of Catholic school and being an altar boy… besides how to steal wine from the vestibule closet when the priest wasn’t looking?! Santa 11/24/06 Dear Santa, All I’m sayin’ is that it’s very remote up there at the North Pole. Very easy for some of the trouble-makin’ elves to, let’s say… go ice fishin’ and fall into the hole. Accidentally, of course. Lenny p.s. Re: the altar wine - I didn’t steal it. The priest gave it to me as a thank you. The church was havin’ problems with the truckers’ union that delivers the wine. And I was able to help ‘cause I knew a guy who knew a guy… 11/26/06 Dear Lenny, You knew a guy who knew a guy in 8th grade?! John Gotti didn‘t know a guy who knew a guy in 8th grade!! Where did you go to school, Our Lady Of The Sopranos?! And BTW, if you’re so well connected, why do you need ME to find you a publicist? Got a news flash for you, pal. Santa doesn’t need anyone’s help dealing with unions. I think you're getting me mixed-up with Frosty the Snowman - that wimp who melts at the first sign of heat. Don't forget, I slide down chimneys for a living. You think I couldn't arrange to have a few whining elves disappear behind the bricks of some of those fireplaces if I wanted to? I may appear jolly, but just like Oprah, I'm ruthless when I have to be. How do you think we’ve both stayed on top for so long? Stop bothering me ’cause if you don’t, well… I, too, know a guy who knows a guy! Santa Vinny the Elf |
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My Interests |
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| Hiking, drinking, writing, drinking, hangin' at the beach... did I mention drinking? | |
I'd like to meet:People responsible for programming network TV. I'd like to find out how I, too, can get a job where I can make outrageous money for being wrong 90% of the time. |
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Music:Sinatra, Dean Martin, Louie Prima, Nat King Cole, The Beatles, The Dead, NRPS, Allman Brothers, Skynyrd, The Who, The Good Rats, Springsteen (early stuff), Speedlimit, Fountains of Wayne, Court Jester. |
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Movies:My Cousin Vinny, Animal House, The Godfather (I & II), Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Midnight Run, Clueless, and almost anything with Bill Murray. Christmas flicks - It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, and The Bishop's Wife. |
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Television:Sitcoms - The Honeymooners (a classic!), The Bob Newhart Show, Newhart, Taxi, Cheers, Frazier, Coach, Wings, Everybody Loves Raymond, Just Shoot Me, Scrubs, My Name is Earl, and Two and a Half Men. Dramadies - Rescue Me, Northern Exposure. Dramas - Hill Street Blues (Bochco rewrote the book on cop shows), St. Elsewhere, and The West Wing. Sci Fi - All the Star Treks except Deep Space Nine. Cartoons - Family Guy. |
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Books:1225 MISTLETOE LANE and NO ONE'S EVEN BLEEDING (both written by me) Reviews at: http://www.publishedauthors.net/lennycastellaneta/ |
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Heroes:Anna Nicole Smith, Paris Hilton, Jerry Springer, Rush Limbaugh, and Bill O'Reilly... all of whom have parlayed no discernable talent into millions of dollars. |
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My Background and Lifestyle |
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| MaritalStatus: | Married |
| SexualOrientation: | Straight |
| Hometown: | Lynbrook, NY |
| Smoker: | No |
| Drinker: | Yes |
| Education: | College graduate |
| Occupation: | writer |
My Pictures |
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My Blog |
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Hypocrites |
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| I don't like hypocrites. Unfortunately, education is the wrong field to be in if this trait bothers you. And because it's graduation season, it's once again time for me to reflect on my career choice... Posted by Lenny on Sat, 21 Jun 2008 07:17:00 PST |
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Court Jester (great band!) |
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| Has anyone ever heard of a band called Court Jester? If not, you're missing out on some really good music. I recently listened to two of their CDs. Their first one, Gina, has an '80s metal sound with... Posted by Lenny on Sun, 25 May 2008 08:21:00 PST |
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Working Your Way Through College |
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| I recently spoke with a friend's son who was about to graduate from high school. He was upset because mom and dad told him he'd have to pay his own way if he wanted to continue his education. . . mea... Posted by Lenny on Sat, 03 May 2008 06:44:00 PST |
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Book Sale |
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| Anyone who wants to buy a copy of my book, No One's Even Bleeding, can get it from my publisher until 4/28/08 for only $9.98! Simply follow the link below and type in Lenny Castellaneta where it ... Posted by Lenny on Wed, 23 Apr 2008 05:45:00 PST |
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True Story |
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| Groucho Marx once quipped, "I don’t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." What made me think of this? I recently received an invitation in the mail to join a local o... Posted by Lenny on Sat, 29 Mar 2008 08:34:00 PST |
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Vinny the Elf |
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| See Vinny review my Christmas book, 1225 Mistletoe Lane -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxtcByFv7Os... Posted by Lenny on Sun, 28 Oct 2007 09:41:00 PST |
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Lenny & Mrs. Claus |
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| 9/03/07
Dear Mrs. Claus,
I don't know if ya remember me, but my name is Lenny Castellaneta and I'm the author of a Christmas book ya enjoyed, 1225 Mistletoe Lane.
I was wonderin' if ya could do me ... Posted by Lenny on Sat, 08 Sep 2007 06:23:00 PST |
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Another reason Id rather be self-employed |
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| It was recently the end of the fiscal year where I work. And although it ended on 6/18, our timesheets run through the 25th of each month... so we had to do 2 timecards, for one paycheck, in June.
W... Posted by Lenny on Sat, 04 Aug 2007 06:16:00 PST |
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Mrs. Claus and Vinny the Elf |
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| This is the YouTube video I would've made if I had the right equipment . . . and knew how to do it. ;-)
FADE IN:
Santa's wife, MRS. CLAUS, sits in a rocking chair in front of a fireplace, ... Posted by Lenny on Mon, 09 Jul 2007 07:18:00 PST |
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Senate Brawl?! |
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| Did anyone happen to catch this story? Last week, a Republican senator punched a Democratic colleague in the head during an argument on the Alabama Senate floor. Okay, so it wasn't exactly Frazier vs... Posted by Lenny on Tue, 12 Jun 2007 09:01:00 PST |
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My Friends |
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Lenny, sarah, James Azrael, Court Jester, erik VOAKE: direcTOR, photoGRAPHER, Photography by Joe Castellaneta, Mooner, Milly the Good Witch of the NE, Matt Goodluck Voiceovers, jonray:Producer, GORJO, ★Mark Arcaro★, ~~Lady~~, Northern Ireland Cannabis Alliance, Stef, Shooting Stars Magazine, Dr. Flexi Jerkoff, Mike P in the House !, FernsPrincess, Hot Biscuit Productions, Rokchik69, Charisma Cruises, Old Chen, WENDY KENNEDY, JESSICA ROBIN, Laura, Ali, Scottie, Vicky Shazam™[FLTN], Woody - Pop Go The Beatles - Lifton, Lil Suzi - Future Best Selling Author, Rivers - Grab Life!, Ladies Love Cool Will (LLCoolW), mathew, Beth Fehlbaum, Debbie, dr, KG5150 is Stephanie, Mr.Tokeman, Marty Connolly, Billy Reno, Russell, Denis Hiller, PR Specialist, a real go getter, 31 Spooner St, the BATTY one, ♥They like......Girl u a fool.., Stewie, Nick, MindSpace
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Tags |
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Lenny's profile has been tagged with the following keywords. Click a tag to search for profiles with the same tags. cal state fullerton, writing sitcoms, nassau community college, fee visa, failed writers, option method, tv scripts, shoe salesman, amazon, dear santa, aspiring writer, delivery option, visa card, odd jobs, teaching credential, substitute teacher, drunks, instant credit, publicist, better chance |
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