i got kicked out of rodeo clown school and my life changed dramatically. i haven't been the same since they made me turn in my big shoes and suspenders... i enjoy being outside more than in and i'd rather be with a small few than a large group. i'm sarcastic, witty, and i'm not the nicest gal on the block.
i'm not a people person by any means, and i generally find most people suck. i still hate many many things, especially on the internet...
i hate people that type LiK3 ThiS To Be COol. it's not cool, it's fucking annoying, and so are you. oooh yeah, you are so gangsta by showing the world how illiterate you really are. i'm sure your invitation to the next MENSA meeting got lost in the mail.
and is it really necessary to take / post a gazillion quizillas and slideshows on your profile? i'm sure you are just like a schlitz and are 97% punk rock, but really i don't care. the busy ass background is certainly a nice touch, too. ESPECIALLY SINCE I CAN'T READ YOUR PROFILE NOW.
i hate stupid people that spell a lot like alot. IT'S CALLED A SPACE BAR. USE IT. it hurts my eyes / ears when people use is and are incorrectly, and i really hate it when people cannot use their, there or they're properly. throw in your and you're, two and to and too while you're at it. i really really really dislike LOL, ROTFMALOLZ, or any hint of lol. i find it particularly sickening when people throw in lol and really aren't loling.
i'm also tired of stupid profile names on myspace. i think it's really cool that you are into a particular scene or whatever, but must you be as cliche as every other rockabilly chick with "Betty" in their name? Yeah, I'm sure you're super sick and all, but is it necessary to be SickGirl69? and not only that, but could you cover up your beastly tits in your pictures? no? ok. well, maybe you should move to canada and live with that guy that thinks you're hot but you've never met him in person and just know that he's the one for you because he really understands you when you chat with him online.
now you may be on myspace for hooking up or finding love, but i'm not. so i'd appreciate it if you'd keep the lewd comments and pick up lines to yourself. use them on someone else. seriously. i don't care what kind of suits you have, what kind of car you drive, or how many tattoos you have. you aren't going to impress me with what you do for a living, what kind of little penis compensation vehicle you drive, or how much money you make. i'm not going to sleep with you. i'm not like that.

i don't care if you are in a band, make tattoos, have been on the ricki lake show, know madeline albright, drive a yugo, or once met wayne newton, i'm not going to fuck you. and i'm not going to send you naked pictures, so quit asking. you wanna know what i look like naked? i've got 2 tatas and a cooter. there. use your imagination, but please, don't tell me about it. i'm also not going to post scantily clad pics on here. there are plenty of other whores on myspace that will gladly do it - bother them, not me.

NOW. in case you haven't had the pleasure of finding out personally, i am the Ruiner of Fun Times. my favorite color is black. i hate custard, eggplant, and tapioca. i hate french manicures on toenails and acrylic nails. i hate minivans, stupid people, and overly sensitive people.
i hate stupid bumper stickers. this is your minute to impress me and you come up with, "Let Me SHOP And No One Gets Hurt," "I'd rather be golfing," or "GOD BLESS AMERICA!" ?!? you know what i'd rather you be doing? driving. over a cliff. a big one. NOW.

Moreover, I don't care what your political views are, what your other car is, how you feel about abortion (I say NEVER on the first date), how I need to birth at home, naturally!, if you listen to Insane Clown Possee, if your boss is a jewish carpenter, how you love HOOTERS, or that i should be warned because you have an invisible dragon in your backseat.

if i decide to add you as a friend, don't send me one of those HEY THANKS FOR THE ADD COMMENTS. i fucking hate those. especially the annoying glittery shit. i didn't do you a favor, nor will i. especially if you leave me a lame comment like that. this is cyberspace pal, and the chances of me actually meeting you are slimmer than calista flockhart.

don't leave me a sick tats comment, either. like those aren't very annoying. i don't wanna talk about tacktoos with you, either. no, really, i don't. these days, everyone's got one, so go find someone else who will talk to you ... i don't want to talk about "reality tv" tacktoo shows, and i don't care about the big named tacktooers you know, or the ones you try to be like ... who does my work? for what? i have a mechanic for my car (the best one in the world i might add), a doctor for when i get sick, turbo tax for ... i could go on ... furthermore, if i'm out eating don't come up to the table and say something lame like, "can i see that?" for cryin out loud, i'm eating and trying to enjoy a night out with my friends or my family. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! don't you dare lift up your shirt and show me that shitty tattoo on your bitch tits. i'm eating. well, i was eating. and just because i'm done eating i'm still not going to talk ink with you.

and no. you don't just gotta see mine. you can't touch em either. no really, i mean it. don't grab my arms. don't lift up my shirt, or try to pull my collar down. i will punch you in your babymaker if you try. OOH HAR HAR HAR YER SOO CLEVER GRABBIN MY PINUP GIRL'S BOOBS. OOOH HAHAHAHAH YER BLEEDING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.