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 Carlton Mellick III - Bizarro Author's Profile |
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I'm an abortion, love me |
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| Age: | 30 years old |
| Sex: | Male |
| Location: | PORTLAND, OREGON |
| Country: |  United States |
| Height: | 6' 2" |
| Zodiac: |  Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22) |
| Last Login: | Jun 15, 2008 (570 days back) |
| I am Here For Friends and Networking. | |
About Me |
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I'm Carlton Mellick III , some asshole who writes Bizarro novels for a living and was once a breakdancing champion in northern Idaho. Most people I add on here already know who I am and what books I've written, but just in case you've never heard of me before, check these out...BOOKS BY ME:NEW TITLES:For more info about my writing, check out my website at www.avantpunk.com For more information about the Bizarro genre, go to: If you would like to help spread the word about my books and the Bizarro genre in exchange for free stuff (including exclusive books that are only available to members), join the Bizarro street team called "the Avant Punk Army." For more information, click on the image below:Oh yeah, I'm also the singer of That One Band , a retard punk band. |
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My Interests |
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| My top 3 hobbies include sausage making, dungeons and dragons orgy parties, and making/watching crappy homemade zombie movies. Other than that, I'm pretty lame. | |
I'd like to meet:Patrick Swayze |
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Music:Sockeye, Cauliflower Ass and Bob, Boy in Love, The Sandwich Gang, Karate Eggs, The Poops, The Imperial Butt Wizards, Hard Core Dude, The Frogs, Melt Banana, Guitar Wolf, Upsidedown Cross, Hulk Hogan and the Wrestling Boot Band, Timwie J Malmsteen's Rising Pants, Boredoms, Anal Cunt, The Crucifucks, Devo, Atom and His Package, The Deep Donkey Crew, Ween, The Kids of Widney High, GG Allin, Cock Sparrer, Negative Approach, The Romper Stomper soundtrack, The Village People, Merzbow, Manowar, Dio, Iron Maiden, Mortiis, Mortician, the Dr. Who theme song, the battlestar galactica theme song, Fanfare Ciocarlia, Quichua Mashis, The Slackers, The Skatalites, Stubborn Allstars, Let's Go Bowling, I love pretty much all of that gay ska stuff, anything Japanese, any pre-reggae Jamaican music, brutally evil music, anything really stupid, anything that sucks. |
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Movies:films by Svankmajer, Tsukamoto, Raimi, Coen Brothers, Miike, Madin, Quay, Jodorowsky, Lynch, Cronenberg, Greenway, Herzog, Burton, Troma, and I completely love all Chris Seaver movies. Check them out at lowbudgetpictures.com |
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Television:I don't really like television. Commercials drive me nuts. Actually, I do love Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Sealab 2021. |
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Books:Anything by: Dr. Seuss, Russell Edson, Kathe Koja, Kathy Acker, Doug Rice, Kevin L. Donihe, D. Harlan Wilson, Vincent Sakowski, Chris Genoa, Jeremy Robert Johnson, Andre Duza, Jeffrey Thomas, Kurt Vonnegut, Chuck Palahniuk, Neil Gaiman, Roald Dahl, Gary Barwin, Clive Barker, Kafka, Camus, Breton, Burroughs, Rushdie, Arnold Rabin, Ron Dakron, Francesca Lia Block, among many others.Nothing by: Carlton Mellick III. |
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Heroes:FOOD FORTUNATA, Bruce Campbell, Mr. T, Dr. Seuss, H. R. Giger, Warwick Davis, John Waters, Trekkies, Debbie Rochon, and the weird people who read my books. |
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My Background and Lifestyle |
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| MaritalStatus: | Swinger |
| Hometown: | McDonaldland |
| Religion: | Other |
| Smoker: | Yes |
| Drinker: | Yes |
| Children: | I don't want kids |
| Education: | Some college |
| Occupation: | Breakdancer |
| Income: | Less than $30,000 |
My Pictures |
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My Blog |
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Ugly Heaven, Beautiful Hell - now available |
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| My novella Ugly Heaven co-published with Beautiful Hell by Jeffrey Thomas is now available. Check it outJeffrey Thomas and Carlton Mellick III collaborate on their own twisted visions of heaven and ... Posted by Carlton Mellick III - Bizarro Author on Mon, 03 Dec 2007 11:56:00 PST |
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Reading Event in Portland |
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Posted by Carlton Mellick III - Bizarro Author on Tue, 04 Sep 2007 04:14:00 PST |
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BIZARRO CENTRAL - now live |
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| Love Bizarro fiction? This is the place for you! Don't know about Bizarro fiction? This is the place to learn more! BIZARRO CENTRALBizarro Central is the major hub for the Bizarro genre. It acts a... Posted by Carlton Mellick III - Bizarro Author on Thu, 19 Jul 2007 03:26:00 PST |
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New Book - Haunted Vagina |
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| "It's difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead." Upcoming releases: "War Slut" will be released november 2006 and a christmas-themed book is due out in December ... Posted by Carlton Mellick III - Bizarro Author on Mon, 13 Nov 2006 09:03:00 PST |
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New Book - War Slut |
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| My novella, War Slut, is out now. I like to think of it as an absurd dystopian future story told within the script of an action horror video game. "In a future where everyone in the world has been d... Posted by Carlton Mellick III - Bizarro Author on Sun, 10 Dec 2006 06:59:00 PST |
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new book - Sausagey Santa |
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| Coming soon ...Plot:For Matthew Fry, inventor of the 'Sly Guy' haircut, life at the North Pole just isn't what he expected. The elves are way too obsessed with playing Dungeons and Dragons, the reinde... Posted by Carlton Mellick III - Bizarro Author on Tue, 19 Dec 2006 05:38:00 PST |
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New Book - Ugly Heaven, Beautiful Hell |
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| My next book, "Ugly Heaven, Beautiful Hell" is being released through Delirium Books/Corrosion Press:It features one book by me and one by author of Punktown and Letters from Hades, Jeffrey Thomas. Wi... Posted by Carlton Mellick III - Bizarro Author on Thu, 10 May 2007 03:58:00 PST |
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The Bizarro Starter Kit - free giveaway |
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| BIZARRO WEEK starts this monday at http://lostdamned.com. Come chat with some of the authors and publishers of bizarro.Lost and the damned is also giving away some copies of The Bizarro Starter Kit. ... Posted by Carlton Mellick III - Bizarro Author on Sun, 08 Oct 2006 11:40:00 PST |
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BIZARRO WEEK (oct 9th - oct 13th) |
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| I'm participating in BIZARRO WEEK on Friday the 13th of October. Come on over and meet some bizarro authors and learn more about the bizarro genre.----------------------------------------------------..
. Posted by Carlton Mellick III - Bizarro Author on Fri, 22 Sep 2006 05:53:00 PST |
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Avant Punk Book Club |
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| You asked for it, so here you go: TheAVANT PUNKBOOK CLUB Tired of trying to track down books by Carlton Mellick III? Sick of the long wait from amazon.com or bugging Barnes and Noble to actua... Posted by Carlton Mellick III - Bizarro Author on Wed, 05 Apr 2006 04:06:00 PST |
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My Friends |
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Kevin L. Donihe, Jeremy R Johnson- Bizarro Author, Gina Ranalli -- Bizarro Author, Andre Duza-Bizarro Author, D. Harlan Wilson - Bizarro Author, Chris Genoa, Vincent W. Sakowski, Ray Fracalossy - Absurdist Writer, Tim Waggoner, Saknussemm, Afterbirth Books, Northwest Horror Professionals, Bare Bone, Jeffrey Thomas, Ed Mironiuk, Worf, Raffi Lopes didn't mean to scare you, jennifer, Gay Bar Gary, Jenna, ♥ Little Ms. Spookiness ♥, kiernan kelly, Dead Rites (Century Media Distro) S.O.D., Shrews, LOST HISTORY, Coleman, Party Young, Radar Lockey ©, Semiotext, Writer ~D. Michael Hardy, Nikki Van Gee, Freezer Burn, coming June 2008, Mistress Blair, Spiritscar, Miscalculatory Malfunction, Steven Payette, DEATH AND PLEASURE, GeekDGirl, jason zachary pott -- NEOtrash ComiX, Campus Rail Jam Tour, Franz Kafka, AGAINST THE GRAIN, The Doktor, Lyraen, 2 Sheds Jackson (Has 2 Large Wooden Organs!!), Deerman, Face The Fear (NEEDS A BASS PLAYER)
Carlton Mellick III - Bizarro Author has 2,357 friends (47 shown). Click here to add Carlton Mellick III - Bizarro Author as a friend. |
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Carlton Mellick III - Bizarro Author's profile has been tagged with the following keywords. Click a tag to search for profiles with the same tags. carlton mellick iii, battlestar galactica theme, quichua mashis, romper stomper soundtrack, upsidedown cross, hulk hogan, fanfare ciocarlia, battlestar galactica, crucifucks, mcdonaldland, zombie movies, orgy parties, evil music, cock sparrer, guitar wolf, atom and his package, negative approach, jamaican music, gg allin, mortiis |
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