This is our cache of the profile last indexed on Friday, May 02, 2008. Visit MySpace for updated profile. MySpaceProfiles.org is a search engine that indexes publicly available profile information from MySpace for convenient searching and display. If you are the author of this profile and do not wish to display it here please click here.
 Male Survivor's Profile |
|
| Age: | 33 years old |
| Sex: | Male |
| Location: | CHICAGO, Illinois |
| Country: |  United States |
| Height: | 6' 2" |
| BodyType: | Some extra baggage |
| Zodiac: |  Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21) |
| Last Login: | May 2, 2008 (616 days back) |
| I am Here For Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking. | |
About Me |
|
For Survivors and Others interested in Preventing, Understanding and Healing Male Sexual Victimization About Me I am a male survivor of Childhood Sexual Abuse. I live a life unnoticed and try to find my way home through all the vices this has left me with. I do see a therapist on a monthly basis. I forgive - I get angry - I get mad - I stuggle - I pray that things will change for all of us in this generation. That we will not walk in shame. That we will not walk in guilt. That we dont have to explain why - when - where or suffer secondary abuse because of what others did to and with us. So if this is the first time you visited myspace—welcome. Below you'll find more information on Male Sexual Abuse. Please dont feel afraid to write or leave comments. Currently my biggest dream is to die in a Tim Burton Movie or at least be an extra in one... So if any one knows him - please put in a good word for me. I am a male survivor of sexual abuse - What Can I Do? * Invest in some good Self Help Books •Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse by Mike Lew - Self-Help - 2004 - 464 pages •Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse by Mic Hunter •Wounded Boys Heroic Men: A Man's Guide to Recovering from Child Abuse by Daniel Jay Sonkin - Self-Help - 1998 - 226 pages •The Courage to Heal Workbook: For Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Davis, LauraDavis: This is a book and companion workbook helping survivors identify and process feelings and thoughts related to the sexual abuse. There is also a book for the partners and loved ones of survivors. These books are helpful in empowering the survivor. * Talk to others you trust and feel supported by: Talk to people who will be willing to listen to your thoughts and feelings related to the sexual abuse. These usually are the people who have been very considerate and non-judgemental in your life. The ones you know you can count on - even in the "rough times". Be warned: Stay away from those who blames you for it -or tells you what to do or how to feel. * Begin Therapy: I cannot stress this one enough. Therapy is a safe and supportive environment in which one can explore feelings and thoughts with a non-judgemental, caring person. They also can provide insight into the psychological effects of sexual abuse such as depression, anxiety, low self esteem and flashbacks. *Join a group of other survivors of sexual abuse. In a group setting you have the opportunity to hear about other survivor's experiences and you may feel willing to share your experiences with them. This is an excellent place to talk about your feelings and experiences while receiving support from others. (It is advisable to join a group once you have progressed sufficiently in individual therapy or are currently involved in individual therapy or group therapy. ) IF YOU ARE CONSIDERING SUICIDE... I am not equipped to deal with an immediate crises of this nature but PlEASE call your local suicide or crisis hotline instead. http://suicidehotlines.com or call 800 suicide (800-784-2433) (24 hrs/7 days week) or Crisis Hotlines United States National:1-866-334-HELP (24 hrs/7 days week) If you do not have a therapist, i would ask you to consider one for ongoing support IF YOU NEED IMMEDIATE HELP PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO CONTACT THE FOLLOWING NUMBERS State Toll-Free Child Abuse Reporting Numbers Each State designates specific agencies to receive and investigate reports of suspected child abuse and neglect. Typically, this responsibility is carried out by child protective services (CPS) within a Department of Social Services, Department of Human Resources, or Division of Family and Children Services. In some States, police departments also may receive reports of child abuse or neglect. Many States have an in-State toll-free number, listed below, for reporting suspected abuse. The reporting party must be calling from the same state where the child is allegedly being abused for the following numbers to be valid. For States not listed, or when the reporting party resides in a different State than the child, please call Childhelp, 800-4-A-Child (800-422-4453), or your local CPS agency. Alaska (AK) 800-478-4444 Arizona (AZ) 888-SOS-CHILD (888-767-2445) Arkansas (AR) 800-482-5964 Connecticut (CT) 800-842-2288 800-624-5518 (TDD/hearing impaired) Delaware (DE) 800-292-9582 Florida (FL) 800-96-ABUSE (800-962-2873) Illinois (IL) 800-252-2873 Indiana (IN) 800-562-2407 Iowa (IA) 800-362-2178 Kansas (KS) 800-922-5330 Kentucky (KY) 800-752-6200 Maine (ME) 800-452-1999 Maryland (MD) 800-332-6347 Massachusetts (MA) 800-792-5200 Michigan (MI) 800-942-4357 Mississippi (MS) 800-222-8000 Missouri (MO) 800-392-3738 Montana (MT) 800-332-6100 Nebraska (NE) 800-652-1999 Nevada (NV) 800-992-5757 New Hampshire (NH) 800-894-5533 New Jersey (NJ) 800-792-8610 800-835-5510 (TDD/hearing impaired) New Mexico (NM) 800-432-2075 New York (NY) 800-342-3720 North Carolina (NC) 800-662-7030 Oklahoma (OK) 800-522-3511 Oregon (OR) 800-854-3508 Pennsylvania (PA) 800-932-0313 Rhode Island (RI) 800-RI-CHILD (800-742-4453) Texas (TX) 800-252-5400 Utah (UT) 800-678-9399 Virginia (VA) 800-552-7096 Washington (WA) 800-562-5624 West Virginia (WV) 800-352-6513 Wyoming (WY) 800-457-3659 About Male Sexual Abuse •Approximately one in six boys experiences direct sexual contact with an adult or older child by age sixteen. • Often these incidents are misconstrued as “Sexual Initiation” or as events for which the boy is responsible. •Sexual abuse among boys and men are mostly unacknowledged and misunderstood. Myths about Sexual A?buse No 1. Men and Boys cant be victims. This myth, instilled through masculine gender socialization and sometimes referred to as the "macho image," declares that males, even young boys, are not supposed to be victims or even vulnerable. We learn very early that males should be able to protect themselves. In truth, boys are children - weaker and more vulnerable than their perpetrators - who cannot really fight back. Why? The perpetrator has greater size, strength, and knowledge. This power is exercised from a position of authority, using resources such as money or other bribes, or outright threats - whatever advantage can be taken to use a child for sexual purposes. No 2. Most sexual abuse of boys is perpetrated by homosexual males. Pedophiles who molest boys are not expressing a homosexual orientation any more than pedophiles who molest girls are practicing heterosexual behaviors. While many child molesters have gender and/or age preferences, of those who seek out boys, the vast majority are not homosexual. They are pedophiles. No 3. If a boy experiences sexual arousal or orgasm from abuse, this means he was a willing participant or enjoyed it. In reality, males can respond physically to stimulation (get an erection) even in traumatic or painful sexual situations. Therapists who work with sexual offenders know that one way a perpetrator can maintain secrecy is to label the child's sexual response as an indication of his willingness to participate. "You liked it, you wanted it," they'll say. Many survivors feel guilt and shame because they experienced physical arousal while being abused. Physical (and visual or auditory) stimulation is likely to happen in a sexual situation. It does not mean that the child wanted the experience or understood what it meant at the time. N0 4. Boys are less traumatized by the abuse experience than girls. While some studies have found males to be less negatively affected, more studies show that long term effects are quite damaging for either sex. Males may be more damaged by society's refusal or reluctance to accept their victimization, and by their resultant belief that they must "tough it out" in silence. No 5. Boys abused by males are or will become homosexual. While there are different theories about how the sexual orientation develops, experts in the human sexuality field do not believe that premature sexual experiences play a significant role in late adolescent or adult sexual orientation. It is unlikely that someone can make another person a homosexual or heterosexual. Sexual orientation is a complex issue and there is no single answer or theory that explains why someone identifies himself as homosexual, heterosexual or bi-sexual. Whether perpetrated by older males or females, boys' or girls' premature sexual experiences are damaging in many ways, including confusion about one's sexual identity and orientation. Many boys who have been abused by males erroneously believe that something about them sexually attracts males, and that this may mean they are homosexual or effeminate. Again, not true. Pedophiles who are attracted to boys will admit that the lack of body hair and adult sexual features turns them on. The pedophile's inability to develop and maintain a healthy adult sexual relationship is the problem - not the physical features of a sexually immature boy. No 6. The "Vampire Syndrome"Ñthat is, boys who are sexually abused, like the victims of Count Dracula, go on to "bite" or sexually abuse others. This myth is especially dangerous because it can create a terrible stigma for the child, that he is destined to become an offender. Boys might be treated as potential perpetrators rather than victims who need help. While it is true that most perpetrators have histories of sexual abuse, it is NOT true that most victims go on to become perpetrators. Research by Jane Gilgun, Judith Becker and John Hunter found a primary difference between perpetrators who were sexually abused and sexually abused males who never perpetrated: non-perpetrators told about the abuse, and were believed and supported by significant people in their lives. Again, the majority of victims do not go on to become adolescent or adult perpetrators; and those who do perpetrate in adolescence usually don't perpetrate as adults if they get help when they are young. No 7 If the perpetrator is female, the boy or adolescent should consider himself fortunate to have been initiated into heterosexual activity. In reality, premature or coerced sex, whether by a mother, aunt, older sister, baby-sitter or other female in a position of power over a boy, causes confusion at best, and rage, depression or other problems in more negative circumstances. To be used as a sexual object by a more powerful person, male or female, is always abusive and often damaging. Believing these myths is dangerous and damaging. *—So long as society believes these myths, and teaches them to children from their earliest years, sexually abused males will be unlikely to get the recognition and help they need. *—So long as society believes these myths, sexually abused males will be more likely join the minority of survivors who perpetuate this suffering by abusing others. * So long as boys or men who have been sexually abused believe these myths, they will feel ashamed and angry. * —And so long as sexually abused males believe these myths they reinforce the power of another devastating myth that all abused children struggle with: that it was their fault. It is never the fault of the child in a sexual situation - though perpetrators can be quite skilled at getting their victims to believe these myths and take on responsibility that is always and only their own. For any male who has been sexually abused, becoming free of these myths is an essential part of the recovery process. Profile edited with CricketSoda's Myspace Editor |
|
My Interests |
|
To the Male who is a Survivor of sexual Abuse: It's NOT Your Fault! No matter what age - situation - how your body reacted or who the abusers was. You were mislead. Taken advantage off. Betrayed. Someone you know or do not know misused their authority or their relationship with you. Being sexually Abused does not define your sexual Orientation Being sexually Abused as a boy does not make you Less of a Man There are a lot of side affects to sexual Abuse, but you do not have to be affected by them forever. There are resources to help you. To seek out resources does not make you weak or a victim - its taking a step towards recovery. Things you may experience as a survivor of sexual abuse? • low self esteem • inability to trust others • exaggerated willingness to remain in dysfunctional or abusive relationships • sexual dysfunction • drug/alcohol abuse • eating disorders • distorted body image • flashbacks of the abuse • frequent nightmares • intruding thoughts • frozen or numbed emotions • depression • anxiety • self abuse and self-deprivation • difficulty experiencing pleasure Ten Facts about Sexual Abuse of Boys and its Aftermath 1. Up to one out of six men report having had unwanted direct sexual contact with an older person by the age of 16. If we include non-contact sexual behavior, such as someone exposing him- or herself to a child, up to one in four men report boyhood sexual victimization. (1, 2) 2. On average, boys first experience sexual abuse at age 10. The age range at which boys are first abused, however, is from infancy to late adolescence. (1, 2) 3. Boys at greatest risk for sexual abuse are those living with neither or only one parent; those whose parents are separated, divorced, and/or remarried; those whose parents abuse alcohol or are involved in criminal behavior; and those who are disabled. (3) 4. Boys are most commonly abused by males (between 50 and 75%). However, it is difficult to estimate the extent of abuse by females, since abuse by women is often covert. Also, when a woman initiates sex with a boy he is likely to consider it a "sexual initiation" and deny that it was abusive, even though he may suffer significant trauma from the experience. (1) 5. A smaller proportion of sexually abused boys than sexually abused girls report sexual abuse to authorities. (3) 6. Common symptoms for sexually abused men include: guilt, anxiety, depression, interpersonal isolation, shame, low self-esteem, self-destructive behavior, post-traumatic stress reactions, poor body imagery, sleep disturbance, nightmares, anorexia or bulimia, relational and/or sexual dysfunction, and compulsive behavior like alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling, overeating, overspending, and sexual obsession or compulsion. (3, 4) 7. The vast majority (over 80%) of sexually abused boys never become adult perpetrators, while a majority of perpetrators (up to 80%) were themselves abused. (1) 8. There is no compelling evidence that sexual abuse fundamentally changes a boy's sexual orientation, but it may lead to confusion about sexual identity and is likely to affect how he relates in intimate situations. (3, 4) 9. Boys often feel physical sexual arousal during abuse even if they are repulsed by what is happening. (4) 10. Perpetrators tend to be males who consider themselves heterosexual (5, 6) and are most likely to be known but unrelated to the victims. (3) 1. Lisak, D, Hopper, J, Song, P (1996). Factors in the cycle of violence: Gender rigidity and emotional constriction. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 9: 721-743 2. Finkelhor D, Hotaling G, Lewis IA, Smith C. (1990). Sexual abuse in a national survey of adult men and women: Prevalence, characteristics, and risk factors. Child Abuse and Neglect, 19:557-68 3. Holmes, W, Slap, G (1998). Sexual abuse of boys: Definition, prevalence, correlates, sequelae, and management. Journal of the American Medical Association, 280:1855-1862 4. Gartner, RB (1999). Betrayed as Boys: Psychodynamic Treatment of Sexually Abused Men. New York: Guilford Press 5. Groth, AN, Oliveri, F (1989). Understanding sexual abuse behavior and differentiating among sexual abusers. In S. Sgroi (Ed.), Vulnerable Populations, (Vol. 2, pp. 309-327). Lexington, MA: Lexington Books. 6. Jenny C, Roesler TA, Poyer KL (1994). Are children at risk for sexual abuse by homosexuals? Pediatrics; 94:41-4 |
|
Music: |
|
Movies:Hard Candy •Mysterious Skin •Sleepers •Mystic River •Prince of Tides •Dolores Claiborne •Deliver Us From Evil Deliver Us From Evil DVD Trailer 2 Add to My Profile | More Videos |
|
Books:Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse by Mike Lew - Self-Help - 2004 - 464 pages Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse by Mic Hunter Wounded Boys Heroic Men: A Man's Guide to Recovering from Child Abuse by Daniel Jay Sonkin - Self-Help - 1998 - 226 pages The Courage to Heal Workbook: For Women and Men Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Davis, LauraDavis: This is a book and companion workbook helping survivors identify and process feelings and thoughts related to the sexual abuse. There is also a book for the partners and loved ones of survivors. These books are helpful in empowering the survivor. ? |
|
My Background and Lifestyle |
|
| MaritalStatus: | Single |
| Ethnicity: | White / Caucasian |
| SexualOrientation: | Not Sure |
| Religion: | Christian - other |
| Children: | Undecided |
| Education: | Post grad |
My Pictures |
|
          |
|
My Blog |
|
Building Support |
|
| Part TwoBUILDING YOUR SUPPORT SYSTEMWhen i started therapy i realized how much of a support network i needed. Being suicidal this helped me much in addressing this issue. It has helped me much since. ... Posted by Male Survivor on Tue, 29 Apr 2008 01:02:00 PST |
|
Safety! |
|
| The Courage to Heal This is an abbreviation of the journey i took with my therapist three years ago. My therapist suggested in 2006 that i get this book and we can use it as an aid to our sessions as... Posted by Male Survivor on Tue, 29 Apr 2008 01:00:00 PST |
|
Mind Control: Psychological Reality or Mindless Rhetoric? |
|
| Philip G. Zimbardo, Ph.D.President, American Psychological Association (2002) One of the most fascinating sessions at APA's Annual Convention featured presentations by former cult members. (See "Cults... Posted by Male Survivor on Fri, 18 Apr 2008 08:40:00 PST |
|
Characteristics Associated with Cultic Groups - Revised |
|
| Janja Lalich, Ph.D. & Michael D. Langone, Ph.D. Concerted efforts at influence and control lie at the core of cultic groups, programs, and relationships. Many members, former members, and supporters o... Posted by Male Survivor on Fri, 18 Apr 2008 08:34:00 PST |
|
Dysfunctional Churches by Ronald Enroth |
|
| Dysfunctional Churches by Ronald Enroth, Ph.D.Cult Observer, 1992, Volume 9, No. 4It is common practice for churchgoers in American society to refer to their own congregation as their "church family."... Posted by Male Survivor on Fri, 18 Apr 2008 08:29:00 PST |
|
Pope Begins U.S. Visit; Says He Is Ashamed of Sex Scandal -The New York Times |
|
| THE POPE'S VISITPope Begins U.S. Visit; Says He Is Ashamed of Sex ScandalBy JOHN HOLUSHA and IAN FISHERPublished: April 16, 2008Pope Benedict XVI landed at Andrews Air Force Base on Tuesday afternoon,... Posted by Male Survivor on Fri, 18 Apr 2008 07:56:00 PST |
|
Pope Urges young to see beyond abuse crises by Michael Paulson |
|
| Urges young to see beyond abuse crisisBy Michael Paulson, Globe Staff, 7/29/2002TORONTO - Pope John Paul II yesterday expressed ''sadness and shame'' over the clergy sexual abuse crisis, but urged hun... Posted by Male Survivor on Fri, 18 Apr 2008 07:52:00 PST |
|
Websites to Check out. |
|
| (WO)MEN SPEAKS OUT NOW dedicated to eradicating rape, sexual assault and gender violence. http://www.womenspeakoutnow.comMALESURVIVOR Overcoming Sexual Victimization of Boys & Menhttp://www.malesu... Posted by Male Survivor on Sat, 12 Apr 2008 06:33:00 PST |
|
Movies that deals... |
|
| "Deliver Us From Evil: A Film by Amy Berg (2006) DocumentarySynopsis: Moving from one parish to another in Northern California during the 1970s, Father Oliver O'Grady quickly won each congregation's t... Posted by Male Survivor on Sat, 12 Apr 2008 06:39:00 PST |
|
Please Support the Report It Now Campaign |
|
| From the official site "You can expose the sexual violence that happened to yourself or a friend or loved one if they are deceased or cannot speak for themselves. You can fill out the form anytime on ... Posted by Male Survivor on Wed, 06 Feb 2008 12:23:00 PST |
|
My Friends |
|
|
(Wo)Men Speak Out, Amy, Angela Shelton, Deliver Us From Evil, Jennifer Grassman, Survivors Swindon, Michael Skinner, Cliff, I AM the DEW in MOUNTAIN DEW!, Gabe, Survivor Ethan, Mens Resource Center for Change, The Tattooed Preacher, Dr. Ingbert, The Queen of Tarts, Men Speak Out, [Stop Abuse] Ministries, Speaking out on Child Abuse!, Sinéad O Connor, Don't Be Silenced, SATORI, Meow/ PROTECT THE CHILDREN!!, No longer a victim!, RAINN, War On Abuse College Recruits!, Plumb, Dublin Comedy Improv, Kristina ~ Freyja, Mrs.Thiele, Mission DeLaPaz ♥ Victory belongs to God!, Tallulah, Psychic Central, Eric Himan, ♥Yudi a.k.a.Lil Gidget♥, MRS WHITE, Angel Moms against abuse, Domestic Violence, Agnieszka, Little Red Riding Hood, PETRA LUNA KEEPING TEENS SAFE, Blindsight Chicago, Angelic Tears, Broken Wings, Ms New York Plus America 2008, Alice - The Lord is My Strength I'm Not Tired, nobody's child(10 days to go), EarthHugger, Michael A. Aponte / Drummer/Artist/Renaissance Man, Healthy Minds, Brenda, Mystica Mahoney, SuicideSucks.org
Male Survivor has 440 friends (52 shown). Click here to add Male Survivor as a friend. |
|
Tags |
|
|
Male Survivor's profile has been tagged with the following keywords. Click a tag to search for profiles with the same tags. daniel jay sonkin, survivors of child sexual abuse, self help books, male sexual abuse, mike lew, mic hunter, sexual victimization, male survivor, sexual child abuse, victims of sexual abuse, childhood sexual abuse, survivors and others, companion workbook, child sexual abuse, tim burton, thoughts and feelings, heroic men, good word, vices |
|
