Alan Levy is one of the few people that I know that would definitely beat me in a music trivia contest.

Alan Levy could save your life someday. Maybe hundreds of lives. Thousands even. In fact, had circumstance been right, Alan Levy might have prevented 9/11. How? Well, though he's loathe to brag about it, I happen to know that in a pinch, Alan can safely fly a large airliner. "What?!?!" you say?

Allow me to explain: I know this because at a previous airline, in addition to flying, I also instructed other pilots in the simulators , and my favorite job related perk was having friends and family out, and letting them try their hand at flying a Boeing. So one evening a few years back, Alan and our mutual friend, Murry from the Old 97's , joined me for a night of... well... simulation. And we're not talking Microsoft Flight Simulator on a laptop; no this was a real B-727 cockpit , and full-motion, full-audio, full-visual simulation. Two minutes at the controls and you forget you're on the ground.

I gave Alan and Murry a five minute short course in Pilot 101 before we got started, and just turned them loose. They flew by hand, the old fashioned - and dare I say manly - way, while I offered only a tip here and there. For three hours they took off, they flew, they landed. They flew in rain and storms, and they lost engines. IIRC, there was even a barrel-roll performed at one point.

Murry's a train guy, so he can be forgiven for having crashed. OK, so he generally crash-landed on the airport well enough that there might have even been quite a few survivors, but Alan... Why, Alan was able to repeatedly get the thing down on the ground safely. It was very impressive.

The moral: If you are ever on a flight with Alan, and Murry Hammond, and the flight attendant comes on the P.A., choking back sobs and frantically asking if anyone onboard knows how to fly, do not let the otherwise talented Murry go in the cockpit. You will probably die. Instead save yourself and let Alan Levy take the wheel. If there are hijackers involved, don't be a baby: Get some volunteers , overpower them, and then let Alan take the wheel. Lives are at stake here, people. Let Alan fly!

Plus, Alan once let me slide for over two years on a $20 bet I lost with him. Now that's a good friend. And a great guy.

I have made my share of "Alan is old" jokes in the past. My joke line usually consists of him growing up with sticks for toys or the fact that he may have voted for FDR. The truth is, Alan will never be old. It isn't because he tries to live vicariously through the nation of idiots (the one I belong to) that are lucky enough to call him a friend. The graying hair and the glasses used for trivia give no real indication what this lovely man is truly about. Alan is still enough of a jack ass to laugh at inside jokes ranging from Ali G to Mayor McCheese, but he is more of a friend than a buddy. Alan is all heart and that is what keeps him young. He wears his heart on his sleeve and sheds tears over the loss of friends, families and familiar hangouts. If you want to know what he thinks, just ask him. Every time I have the opportunity to hang out with Alan I am amazed by his knowledge (of all things), generosity, friendliness, drinking, advice, thoughtfulness and his inability to get over the Ry Cooder question on Trivia.

Alan is spider friendly and always has open doors. Plus, he's the only person who can actually improve a coke float or rootbeer float...by making it alcoholic! Alan The Unconditional always has your back!

I have known Alan now for what seems like 47 years. I am still learning things he's known from birth. But my favorite bit of Alan's is the Christmas CD some of you may not have been in on (though I doubt it, he's generous to a fault). It wasn't so much that he made a CD (and not like you kids today, he actually went to a lot of trouble and thought about the thing) but more that he was giving at a time when everyone is but few are caring about how they do it. What was evident about Alan through those CDs and is still evident about Alan through his personality, charm, and demeanor is that he (unlike almost all the rest) really does give a shit. It's so great to be his friend, and almost anyone can be. Just ask him nice.

Alan Levy saved my life. I, wandering around confused and sad for years looking for the title and artist of a song that had haunted me, had all but given up. At a Festivus celebration in December of 2006, during a conversation on music related topics, I was made aware of Alan’s encyclopedic knowledge of music. I decided to hum and sing the melody of the elusive song. Within 4 notes, the title was stated, quickly followed by the artist and date of release! The next morning I did the search and download. It was as if the heavens had parted as the song played. "Soulful Strut" by Young-Holt Unlimited! Oh, sweet nectar! It was the best Festivus gift I had ever received. I would like to see a statue of Alan Levy erected in Dallas & this should happen soon.