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 Jim Norton's Profile |
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I'M JIM NORTON AND I'M ON THE RADIO |
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| Age: | 39 years old |
| Sex: | Male |
| Location: | NEW YORK, New York |
| Country: |  United States |
| Zodiac: |  Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22) |
| Last Login: | Jul 2, 2008 (509 days back) |
About Me |
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TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey Name: Jim "The Carrier" Norton Birthday: every day LOLOLOLLOL Birthplace: dropped unceremoniously onto a bath mat during a coughing fit Current Location: closer to a grammar school than allowed by law Eye Color: bloody-stool brown Hair Color: brown, speckled with thick, cakey dandruff Height: tall enough to get on the rides at Coney Island Right Handed or Left Handed: tug with my right, bag tickle with my left Your Heritage: my Irish great-grandmother was teabagged by a Hun, which by default makes me a silly goose The Shoes You Wore Today: patten leather with a buckle, like Shirley Temple used to wear Your Weakness: an invalid laying sideways with her mouth open Your Fears: that I will be overheard making the Yummy noise glancing at an older gentleman in a rest area men's room Your Perfect Pizza: oven crusted with lightly seared placenta, covered with flamingo vomit Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: I'd like to stop needlessly kicking retarded people Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: "Your ass looks amazing in those diapers" Thoughts First Waking Up: "Who is this strapping Negro?" Your Best Physical Feature: my taint Your Bedtime: 10 minutes after my tranny movies end Your Most Missed Memory: being face down in a pillow with whiskey being breathed into my face from the side by my uncle Pepsi or Coke: hot dog water MacDonalds or Burger King: MEAT IS MURDER! Single or Group Dates: I prefer single dates and group scat parties Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: whatever kind Jim Jones drank Chocolate or Vanilla: ice cream is for queers Cappuccino or Coffee: ice lattes, because they help get the logs moving Do you Smoke: only when babysitting Do you Swear: yes, I frequently tell people to "buzz off" and "go jump in a lake" Do you Sing: I tend to hum Lionel Ritchie songs while I'm being raped Do you Shower Daily: I prefer to have dogs lick the sweat off my balls and neck Have you Been in Love: never with a girl Do you want to go to College: learning is for queers Do you want to get Married: yes, to Laci Peterson Do you believe in yourself: I didnt until my only Son was crucified by Pontius Pilot Do you get Motion Sickness: only when riding fat girls Do you think you are Attractive: yes, when compared with burn victims Are you a Health Freak: I take my AZT cocktails every day Do you get along with your Parents: I did until I killed them for insurance money Do you like Thunderstorms: yes, because they cause youngsters to huddle under my covers Do you play an Instrument: I play spoons and the rape whistle In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: no, but I've purchased it for minors In the past month have you Smoked: a salmon and some almonds In the past month have you been on : cialis In the past month have you gone on a Date: do prostitutes count? In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes, to buy my grandmother an athletic supporter In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: why would I eat a box full of black people who act white? In the past month have you eaten Sushi: no, but I store it in my girlfriends underpants In the past month have you been on Stage: yes. In Mexico, with a donkey In the past month have you been Dumped: yes, on my chest In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: twice in a kiddie pool In the past month have you Stolen Anything: 2 babies and a prosthetic testicle Ever been Drunk: one night while driving Billy Martin home Ever been called a Tease: a cancer patient once called me that while I dangled morphine over his face Ever been Beaten up: on a playground by a group of concerned parents Ever Shoplifted: I smuggled a gerbil out of the store without using my hands How do you want to Die: I want to be sawed in half while felching Jack Klugman What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Dominican drug lord What country would you most like to Visit: Wyoming In a Boy/Girl.. Favourite Eye Color: black and blue Favourite Hair Color: golf course green Short or Long Hair: chemo whispy Height: under 4 feet Weight: 75 pounds and willing to vomit Best Clothing Style: torn off Number of I have taken: what in Sam Hill does this question mean? Number of CDs I own: 3, all Huey Lewis Number of Piercings: both nipples,but accidentally Number of Tattoos: either a tear drop on the face or cartoon characters on her crotch Number of things in my Past I Regret: 5,679 |
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My Interests |
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I'd like to meet:a retarded girl who can deep throat. |
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Music:The Robert Reed 'Robe Pocket Full of Tissues' Commemerative Christmas album and anything by Marvin Gaye after 1984 |
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Television:Joey, Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi's Funniest Home Videos |
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Books:Chicken Soup For the Prostate and How To Get Rich With Capped Teeth and a Wig by Tony Robbins |
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My Background and Lifestyle |
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| MaritalStatus: | In a Relationship |
| SexualOrientation: | Straight |
| Children: | I don't want kids |
My Pictures |
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My Blog |
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HBO Taping - Get Your Free Tickets |
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| To get your free pair of tickets to Jim Norton's HBO taping in May, read on...Dates: Wednesday, May 21 and Thursday, May 22 Venue: Bergen Performing Arts Center (30 North Van Brunt St, Englewood,... Posted by Jim Norton on Tue, 29 Apr 2008 03:09:00 PST |
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JIM NORTON - LIVE IN CONCERT! |
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| Catch Jim Norton live in concert! The second leg of the tour has been added - all new dates go on sale this Friday, February 8 at Noon. Click the links below to purchase your tickets!Frida... Posted by Jim Norton on Mon, 10 Dec 2007 07:38:00 PST |
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MY GOOD NAME |
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| Like many of you, I read the reprehensible and sadly irresponsible things written about me by Anthony Cumia of the O&A radio pogram. He has demeaned and degraded not... Posted by Jim Norton on Tue, 06 Dec 2005 07:43:00 PST |
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giving it a hundred percent |
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| This is my first attempt at using the blog here on Myspace. Sure hope it goes well LOL LOL. I am on the set, done taping and waiting for the rest of the show to fin... Posted by Jim Norton on Thu, 17 Nov 2005 11:08:00 PST |
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My Friends |
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AwfulAsian, La La Lara, JimmyT, NEB, Greg Briney, ALeX, alfie numeric aka melanin monroe, jeff, Friendo, ben, Tranny Force Girls!, Content Whore, Mike, thud, the joey, Big D, cap'n slap-n-tap, NUMBSKULL037, Verbally Burn You To The 3rd Degree Spit Mercury, Kevin, Thomas Joseph, Daddyaddy, Brian, Winds of Thor, MELISSA, The DnA Project, k, Shawn, john _ mystrawhat.com, Pablocito, kneel, WHITIKER FOREST, Natasha Henstridge(fans), Schrödingers Leo, Nefarious Is My Middle Name, hans onataint, dar, NEILIUS, Bobby, ROCKY, Oh Yoc is Me, Raymadeen, Just Plain Ol' Paul, animalinstinct, /-\[)/-\/\/\, MUTHAFAACkooN MelleiN, hahau812, Elizabeth, Christina, dave, Matt, Robb!, Samurai Dan, Neal, DJ eKKo, ..:: Bri ♥ ::.., Class Substitute, *~*Rosalba*~*, Joshua, Brandon, janelle, Zach, ****GENERAL****
Jim Norton has 63,869 friends (63 shown). Click here to add Jim Norton as a friend. |
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Tags |
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Jim Norton's profile has been tagged with the following keywords. Click a tag to search for profiles with the same tags. lionel ritchie songs, lipton ice tea, vanilla ice cream, hot dog water, jim norton, perfect pizza, great grandmother, pizza oven, vanilla ice, grammar school, bloody stool, radio new york, survey name, meat is murder, silly goose, bath mat, group dates, physical feature, jim jones, macdonalds |
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