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Lost Soul's Profile
I'm the Red under your bed.
Age:	37 years old
Sex:	Male
Location:	Dullsville, Hell
Country:	United Kingdom
Height:	8' 11"
BodyType:	Body builder
Zodiac:	Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
Last Login:	Jul 4, 2008 (2 days back)
I am Here For Friends.

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About Me
International friends, please click the link for a TRANSLATOR which will open in a new window. What's there to know? I'm a working class lad from grey, miserable England of Welsh extraction. I'm recently divorced for the second time so I'm getting quite the expert in matrimonial catastrophe and financial ruination (it never pays to have a penis in a divorce). I like hats. A lot. I want to be able to flip a hat in a oh-so-sophisticated fashion and have it land on my head at a rakish angle. I'd like to live in a bar where the music is swinging, the people are friendlier than you could possibly imagine, the drink is free, the burlesque is X rated and I have a bed that automatically descends from the ceiling right before I collapse into a Wild Turkey induced coma. I never finish a fucking thing, I am a serial hobbyist, I have a child-like attitude towards most projects: incredible enthusiasm and optimism followed by frustrated indifference and much stamping of the feet. I've been a vegetarian since I was 18 but I still wear leather shoes if only for the joys of having flesh-eating savages accuse me of hypocrisy. Lately I've had the urge to seek out videos and images of deserving people getting mauled beyond recognition by angry animals. Like that bull-torturer getting gored up the arsehole. I'd love to see a foxhunter getting his or her jaw bitten off by a bear. Or maybe Tony Blair having his wizened old cock nibbled off by a family of rabid, and rather irritable, squirrels. Red ones of course. I was born for good times but have a job and wage that prevent me from being a total hedonist. I'm a 35 year old boy with no desire to grow up, grow old or grow a beard. I'd like to earn a living constructing kustom-made, one of a kind, wrestling masks. A bit of a niche market I realise but it sounds like fun. Yes, yes I own a sewing machine an' I know how to use it. It's a MAN'S tool I tell ya! I want a tandem. Or a big tricycle. I want, doesn't get. Which is a shame.
My Interests
I have plenty of fascinating interests: Havin' as much fun as I can before I get so old I have to wear a nappy. Lowbrow art, boss sounds, learning to lindy, pulp fiction, film noir, happy drunkenness, jazz-age cocktails, Stanislav Szukalski art and sculpture, good times, new friends, hats, fully-fashioned stockings, high heels, Vegas, photography (real not digital, that's for chimps), Lomography, magnets, vintage and retro pin-ups, pomade, the machine age, the continuing struggle of the working class in determining its own destiny, The IWCA, bowling shirts, wrestling masks, tiki trash, vintage and retro pop-culture iconography, etc. I like to cherry pick what suits me in terms of attire, music and design from around 1935 to 1965.
I'd like to meet: I'd like to go out drinking with Terry-Thomas and Leslie Philips at a convention of communist porno-nuns in a free bar deep inside a nuclear bunker festooned with Tretchikoff prints and Fritz Willis paintings whilst being entertained by the Saint Trinians go-go team dancing to Sing, Sing, Sing by Louis Prima. If you request my friendship, I accept, and you fail to communicate within 48 hours, you will be discarded like yesterdays teabags. You'd be amazed how many fuckers lack the attention span to read this. If your page takes more than 30 seconds to load I will conclude that either you are in the process of giving me a virus or you have put way too many pictures on your page in a transparent attempt to disguise your lack of words. Either way, you will be ignored/ deleted. Persons who may join me on the velvet sofa of righteousness. garage punk types reds, revolutionaries and progressives stocking-clad harlots Tourette's syndrome sufferers masked vigilantes humourists lindy hoppers cynics and sceptics grumpy old bastards Saint Trinians girls mixologists the mildly eccentric (but not mentally diseased) thoroughly nice, loyal, thoughtful people Persons who should slide down a very long razorblade to deadsville fascists of all persuasions (no matter how "respectable" they claim to be) and other anti working class excrement anti-social elements (muggers, dealers, joyriders, burglers, etc) property developers, landlords, people that 'buy-to-let' the clergy every single 'reality show' participant ever charlatans, quacks and homeopaths bailiffs yuppies the advertising industry fox-hunters and anyone in The Countryside Alliance art school knobs who think the swastika is an appropriate fashion statement wankers, tossers and pricks Do NOT, under any circumstances converse with me using 'text' speak and/or incorrect grammar and punctuation. If you do, I will send the goons 'round to your festering abode where they will break your fingers with pliers and insert the Oxford English Dictionary up your well-worn rectum. Despite all of the above negativity, I am quite a nice chap. I just wish everyone else was nice too. LINKS OF THE DAY MODERN DRUNKARD MAGAZINE GOOD GIRL ART VEGAN STORE BAD SCIENCE RETRO TIMES HOUSE INDUSTRIES GIG POSTERS PINHOLE PHOTOGRAPHY
Music: I get my musical kicks from garage-punk: old and new, swing: 40s and neo, kick-ass soul, fucked up blooze, punk, surf, sultry chanteuses, demented rock 'n' roll, early R&B aswell as the odd bit of lounge and some trusty Northern stompers. Oblivians, Compulsive Gamblers, New Bomb Turks, Stingrays, Cee Bee Beaumont, Mooney Suzuki, Ray Charles, The Saints, BBVD, Reigning Sound, Now Time Delegation, Mora's Modern Rhythmists, Booker T & The MGs, Madame X, The Sonics, The Wailers, The Mortals, Harry James, The Mono Men, Thee Shams, Back From The Grave comps, Sons of Cyrus, Man Or Astroman?, The Witchdoktors, Snuff, Devil Doll, The Invisible Men, KO and the Knockouts, The Delta 72, Impala, The Insomniacs, Radio Birdman, The Redskins, The Nuthins, Chargers Street Gang, The Dexateens, Stax Records, Piano Red, The Insomniacs, Tamla Motown, Street Walkin' Cheetahs, Coyote Men, Shangri Las, Sons of Hercules, Louie Jordan, Reverend Horton Heat, The Snags, The Prisoners, Kings O' Nuthin', Thee Milkshakes, Solar Flares, Louis Prima, The Trashmonkeys, The Trashmen, Gluecifer, Hellacopters, Ray Collins' Hot Club, The Mistreaters, The Purple Things, Thee Cybermen, The Von Bondies, Dead Kennedys, The Bomboras, Stompy Jones, The Movement, The Hard Feelings, The Hives, Mensen, Blaggers ITA, Dragons, Electric Eel Shock, A Bones, Deadly Snakes, The Chronics, Alopecia Records, The Dirtys, Estrus Records, Halo Of Flies, Jack o' Fire, The Who, The Standells, International Noise Conspiracy, etc. Elvis is dead. Get over it. And what the fuck is it with The Smiths? They were an utterly shit indie band with a bad lead singer.
Movies: The Wind that Shakes the Barley, Land and Fredom, The Green Man, They Drive By Night, Dark Water, Scum, McVicar, Quadrophenia, Amelie, Asphalt Jungle, Carlito's Way, Swingers, Laurel and Hardy films, film noir, Raining Stones, Battle of Algiers, Riff-Raff, Naked, Dockers, The Hill, Sergio Leone films, Nil By Mouth, French porn, School for Scoundrels, Make Mine Mink, Night Of The Hunter, Cape Fear, Out Of The Past, Delicatessen, Das Boot, M, Tinto Brass smut, nun porn, Gonin, Happiness, all St. Trinians films, etc, etc.
Television: Anything involving general knowledge quizzes, schoolboy science or smutty ladies. So Dita von Teese on Mastermind with amateur rocketry as her specialist subject would be ideal.
Books: A tiny glimpse into my library: FICTION:The Ragged Trousered Philanthropists- Robert TressellThe Diceman- Luke RhinehartLondon Blues- Anthony FrewinHangover Square- Patrick HamiltonPop. 1280- Jim ThompsonNON-FICTION:The IRA- Tim Pat CooganModern Coin Magic- J.B.BoboThe Savoy Cocktail Book- Harry CraddockThe Newtonian Casino- Thomas.A.BassThe Big Con- David.W.MaurerBIOGRAPHICAL ACCOUNTS:Freak Like Me- Jim RoseFast & Louche- Jeremy ScottBanco- Henri CharriereHomage to Catalonia- George OrwellOne Day in my Life- Bobby SandsART:Devil's Advocate- CoopSome People Can't Surf- Art ChantryWeegee's World- WeegeeAtavistic Avatar- The PizzDreamland- Todd SchorrLowlife Paradise- Glenn BarrSMUT:Motel Fetish- Chas Ray KriderGil Elvgren- TaschenAntiCristo- Steve FentoneThe Adventures of Sweet Gwendoline- John WillieCheek!- Trevor WatsonBen Westwood- Ben WestwoodThe Glamour Girls of Bill Ward- Alex ChunThe Art of the Teese- Dita Von Teese
Heroes:
My Background and Lifestyle
This is a private profile.
MaritalStatus:	In a Relationship
Hometown:	Utopia
Religion:	Atheist
Smoker:	No
Drinker:	Yes
Children:	I don't want kids
Occupation:	titty-twister
My Pictures

My Blog
The New Lifemanship. part 1
Telephones are for communications purposes only. They are never to be used as cameras. Cameras were invented for that very purpose. To confuse the two amounts to gross idiocy. You wouldn't use a grand... Posted by Lost Soul on Sat, 27 Jan 2007 03:52:00 PST
No Flights for the Poor.
After working long and hard at a job I hate, not going out as much as I'd like, refraining from buying records, not littering the planet with offspring, giving up smoking, and other money-saving... Posted by Lost Soul on Tue, 23 Jan 2007 06:02:00 PST
The Art of Throwing Things
Man evolved with a powerful urge to chuck things. This would prove handy in hunting mammoths with spears, knocking fruit from trees with sticks and in more recent times, hurling bricks and bottles at ... Posted by Lost Soul on Tue, 16 Jan 2007 07:20:00 PST
God does indeed hate fags
Christian and Muslim groups, organised by the Lawyers' Christian Fellowship are tonight holding a torchlit protest outside Westminster against a proposed extension of gay rights laws. The legislation... Posted by Lost Soul on Tue, 09 Jan 2007 12:20:00 PST
SALE!
The January sales. I know how salmon feel now. Swimming upstream against a relentless current of effluence in order to grab some bargains. Except in my excrutiatingly mixed metaphor, effluence do... Posted by Lost Soul on Sat, 30 Dec 2006 05:06:00 PST
The Descent of Man
It was only a fifteen minute cycle ride to my barber but the nagging pain in my knees was a tad depressing. It can't be the passing of youth, I thought to myself, surely everyone's knees ached after l... Posted by Lost Soul on Wed, 20 Dec 2006 02:35:00 PST
The Dregs of Society
Here's a piece clipped from The Guardian which illustrates the limitless greed of buy-to-let property investors. These parasitic fucksticks deliberately push the prices of property up, rende... Posted by Lost Soul on Mon, 18 Dec 2006 12:44:00 PST
Die, Pinochet, DIE!
For the socially aware amongst you, my friends, that purchased my thoroughly spiffing invention; The Hate Ray, we have a splendid opportunity to put it to good use. As long as you have read the ... Posted by Lost Soul on Sun, 03 Dec 2006 10:47:00 PST
Dolce Gusto!
Once again, the evil empire of Nescafe have proved what a bunch of fucking arseholes they are by bringing us the Dolce Gusto Coffee Machine by KRUPS! Behold the startling array of features: Choose bet... Posted by Lost Soul on Mon, 06 Nov 2006 08:40:00 PST
Re-hash part deux
OK, this is the last time I re-post an existing article of mine (again, from Qoundam Leap). You have to forgive me though as I'm languishing at home after having two wisdom teeth removed. It feels lik... Posted by Lost Soul on Mon, 06 Nov 2006 07:52:00 PST
My Friends
Miss Nicola, The International Brigade Memorial Trust, The Sophisticate's Diary, Ms Springolator, mrs jackqui ripper, mywifenow, Anni, Seymour C.Moore, Lisë, ian d. marsden, Bass Priest Lee Love, Lucky, PLANET ANDY, Reigning Sound, monkeysoap, The (International) Noise Conspiracy, Baby Woodrose, Richard Dawkins.net, BEE DEE KAY AND THE ROLLER COASTER, SixFtHick, Oblivians, King Khan & the Shrines, ♠ minx ♠, THE HIP PRIESTS, jo, Simon, Otis B. Driftwood, Ava, The Fabulous Ottomans, Imperial Telegrams, TONY, Gary Miller, Gypsy Hotel, Marsipan, gary miller, I judge you when you use poor grammar., ♥Dragona♥ Farfisa, HushHush Lost Soul has 147 friends (38 shown). Click here to add Lost Soul as a friend.
Tags
Lost Soul's profile has been tagged with the following keywords. Click a tag to search for profiles with the same tags. welsh extraction, mauled beyond recognition, sophisticated fashion, old cock, rakish angle, niche market, sewing machine, dullsville, leather shoes, tony blair, international friends, foxhunter, wild turkey, ruination, lost soul, x rated, savages, hobbyist, utopia, collapse