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 CHRIS's Profile |
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boosh |
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| Age: | 25 years old |
| Sex: | Male |
| Location: | California |
| Country: |  United States |
| Zodiac: |  Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19) |
| Last Login: | Apr 22, 2008 (584 days back) |
| I am Here For Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends and Networking. | |
About Me |
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| Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing. Chuck Norris' blood type is AK+. Ass-Kicking Positive. It is compatible only with heavy construction equipment, tanks, and fighter jets. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down. Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably. Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face. Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever. The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist. Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear. CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe. Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide. Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out. Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them. A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia. Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre. If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever. Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will fuck you up. The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade. Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer. Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill. Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris. Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises. Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face. In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer. Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Fuck was That?" Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking. Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths. The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself. According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks. if you want to get in contact.. AIM Screen name: GrizzlyXXXadams Look below! I'll have more working video's later. THE TOUGH ALLIANCE ROCKS! BRB SWE! Ali G - Glossary A a little bit ratted: drunk aggro: hassle, stress aight: alright alo: hi ambient: chilled aminal: dog auto: car aye: certainly B babylon: breast bang: speak batty: ass batty boy: gay batty hole: butthole bestest: favorite big up, fanks: thanks biggies, mr. biggies: balls bit of paper: document bit thick: stupid bitch: baby, chick, darling, female, freak, girl, honey, lady, lover, wife bits: technology bo: bye, good-bye, seeya bog: lavatory, pisser, toilet bone: hump boozer: pub boys: friends brainiest: intelligent, skilled bruvers: boys, men C check: discover, inspect, investigate, peep, see cheeky: smiley chief: idiot, moron chill: break, loose, relax, slack, enjoy chilled: bored, happy constalubury: police crew: company, family, gang, squad D deal: situation dig: favor, love, prefer, want dis: insult do a piss: urinate dong: penis, tool don't dig: hate E erbal remedy: cannabis, cocaine, dope, drug, ganja, grass, hash, marijuana, sensi, spliff, weed F fag: cigarette feminist: lesbian fit: attractive, cute, goodlooking, pretty, sexy, blonde fit bitch: babe fittest: best flange: fanny for real: absolutely, definitely, especially, exceptional full bush: mature, ripe G geezer: bloke, folk go to me julie: sleep grub: dinner, food, lunch H hear me now: greetings, welcome ho: hooker homies: neighbors homosapien: homosexual homosexual: homosapien hop: jump I in da house: here innit: that's inside: jail, prison is wicked: rocks is wrecked: hurt J Jackie Chan: God, Jesus L lady: fox let it rip: enter M main bitch: queen main man: best friend, boss, boyfriend, chum, friend, individual, king, mate mam: mother massive: big, gigantic, huge, large maximum: enormous, full me: my mingin: awful, crap, dirty, filthy, hairy, horrible, rotten, ugly moan: suffer mula: money N nan: grandmother natter: talk nazies: commies not in da house: missing O old geezer: father orange juice: spunk pacific: exact pigs: coppers, law pissin: annoying pooter: computer pressie: gift R racialist: discrimination, racist rank: hated, nasty respect: compliment rubber: condom ruk: argument, fight S selecta: DJ shag: shag shaven haven: shaven speed garage: hip hop, indie, jazz, pop, jazz, rock, techno spliff: joint spunky: hot squid: pound stiff: dead sweet bitching: pleasure T telly: TV threads: clothes tommy hilfinger: coat trisexual: bisexual trumpet: fart turf: apartment, city, country, flat, land, neighborhood, town, home U up da spout: pregnant W westside: northside wicked: bad, beautiful, brilliant, cool, excellent, fantastic, fine, funny, good, great, groovy, handsome, keen, lovely, nice, ok, sweet, wonderful wiv: with wrecked: tired, exhausted Y yellow sunglasses: glasses youf: youth Phrases a bit of erbal remedy: a smoke a chill pill: a break big up to you: well done, pleased to meet you checkin out: looking at chill: shut up dig to get jiggy wiv mr. biggy: like to have sex down the boozer: to the pub / bar gimme a shout: give me a ring going westside: going home hear me now: listen to me i fink i will be: i feel like innit: isn't it, that's right, that's correct is you wicked?: how's it going?, how are you feeling? keep it real and tell me da time: what time is it? me crew told me: i heard me is heading westside: i'm going home the most bestest: first class the sack: my bed wot is yous banging on about?: what are you talking about? wussup?: what's up? |
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My Interests |
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Movies:spinal tap |
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Books:bartenders best friend |
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My Background and Lifestyle |
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| MaritalStatus: | Single |
| SexualOrientation: | Straight |
| Education: | In college |
My Pictures |
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My Friends |
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The Sounds, The (International) Noise Conspiracy, Melody Club, Caesars, Irregular, BLUESTAR PRODUCTIONS®, AnToNiO, JosH, LITHIUM, D bear, Cory Wilaby ~Artist, The, Focus Magazine, E, Anthony Marquez, the moustache, Jeremy Miller, GRAND OPENING OF SHY THURSDAY MAY 22ND MDW!!!!!!!, Tina, Specter Studios, Gadget Car, Fall Of Envy (New Merch Available Now), Austin Newcomers, Porcelain Doll, Louie Martinez, The Hanks (New album out now!), THE MIDNIGHT HOWLERS, the Alpine, NEXTPAGE, eheart, NYC, The Geminiac, nicky, Hoodriot Street Promo, Luca Urso, Chris, osni, Starcrazy, STELA, CHINA DOLLS The Movie, Ian(Mr.Monday), DJ Caine, Christiane F., Driving Music, Dark Illl Poets (D.I.P), DVS, The Mikey, Sweet Christina, vote 4 studio a records ohiohiphopawards.com
CHRIS has 14,867 friends (48 shown). Click here to add CHRIS as a friend. |
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CHRIS's profile has been tagged with the following keywords. Click a tag to search for profiles with the same tags. guinness book of world records, heavy construction equipment, guinness book of world, box jellyfish, contrary to popular belief, car windshield, shotgun blast, death chuck, fighter jets, crop circles, chief export, cure cancer, chuck norris, boosh, straight male, trademarked names, northern australia, book of world records, great wall of china, two tons |
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