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 BEER's Profile |
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He was a wise man who invented beer. -Plato |
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| Age: | 95 years old |
| Sex: | Male |
| Location: | EVERYWHERE, USA, Germany, Australia, |
| Country: |  Belgium |
| Zodiac: |  Capricorn (Dec 22- Jan 19) |
| Last Login: | Jul 28, 2008 (508 days back) |
About Me |
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| Let me tell you about myself. I am beer. I am made from fermented malted and/or roasted grains in water, most often with other ingredients to produce the desired flavors. You can find me in a keg, growler, party ball, bottle, and can. I'm at the local tavern, the big game, backyard parties, and almost anywhere you find thirsty people. I am old. I have been around for about 7000 years. Tests performed on pottery jars suggest my earliest ancestors were fermented grain beverages developed in what is modern day Iran. The Sumarians created malted beverages too as far back as 6000 years ago. I was vital to all the grain-growing civilisations of classical Western antiquity, including Egypt. The Greeks learned to brew me, and later the Romans. I had a falling out with wine in ancient Rome but I got over it. In 1600's B.C. Egyptian texts exhibit using me for medicinal purposes. It wasn't until the middle ages where brewers made me with hops and other herbs. Hops adds bitters and aids in preservation. The oldest surviving written record of the use of hops is from 1067 by the writer Abbess Hildegard of Bingen. Hops found their way to England in the 1400's. I spent most of my days in Europe and was popular during the 14th and 15th century and in medieval times. In the 15th century brewers in England stopped using hops and named me ale. Only with hops could one be called beer. But by the 16th century most all of us beers had hops and the stronger ones became known as ales. A cousin of mine, the Lager, was discovered by accident in the 16th century after being stored in cool caverns for long periods. In the mid 1700's and into the 1800's inventions such as the steam engine, thermometer, hydrometer, and roasting machines allowed me to be more consistant and led to wider varieties. Today I am produced all over the world. Sometimes by huge multi-national corporations, sometimes by small community breweries, and sometimes by individuals. There are hundreds of different kinds of me. Lager, ale, pilsner, porter, bock, and stout are all proud members of the Beer family. Millions of people love me, that makes me happy. Some of us taste much better than others. Many people, especially in North America, do not like better beers, they prefer weak, watery, and dull bitter beer. That makes me sad. Some people hate me. I get blamed, along with my liquor friends, for all of the world's peril. This is mostly by religious nuts and people who once abused me. It's not my fault, I'm just beer. I didn't do it. Really, I didn't. In fact in 1920 the United States was pressured by Protestant religious groups to make me and my friends illegal. The sale and manufacture of me was outlawed. But people liked me and so they continued to drink me. It took 13 years but they saw the error of their ways. But that isn't the first time. All the way back in 1629 in what would later become Virginia there were nasty things being spouted by religious leaders against me. And in most of the world over the centuries people have been trying destroy me. My ancestors have experienced more strife than anything else. But I'm ok with it. Because today there are enough people that like and enjoy me, that's comforting. |
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My Interests |
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A long time ago, way back in history When all there was to drink was nothin' but cups of tea, Along came a man by the name of Charlie Mopps And he invented the wonderful drink, and he made it out of hops. Guinness uses a process developed in 1953 by New Zealander Morton W. Coutts called continuous fermentation. The beer flows through sealed tanks and ferments under pressure. It never contacts the air, even when bottled. The Beer Hunter BREWERS ASSOCIATION You can’t be a Real Country unless you have A BEER and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER. - Frank Zappa (1940-93) |
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I'd like to meet:I'm great with pizza, sandwiches, chicken wings, tacos, bratwurst, cigars, music, and friends. But hanging out by myself is ok too. I'm always happy to follow up behind vodka or bourbon.I report spam. |
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Music:There's lot of music about me... "Beer, bait, and ammo" - Kevin Fowler "Beer" - Reel Big Fish "Free Beer" - DaYoopers "Chicken and Beer" - Ludacris "Titties and Beer" - Frank Zappa "Beer is good for you" - Billy Fingers Hundreds of songs by the Germans and Irish... And many many more. Adult Interactive Radio - you never know what sort of crazy shit you'll hear during the live shows. |
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Television:I've put a few videos up about me..old TV commercials. |
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Heroes:Featured Profile Global Warming Debunked |
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My Background and Lifestyle |
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| MaritalStatus: | Swinger |
| Occupation: | Quenching People's Thirst |
My Pictures |
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My Friends |
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Cigar, RED CUP!!, The Beer Drinkers Guide To Survival, Beer, The Beer Guy, Coffee, Gin & Tonic, Pizza, Bass, Green Plastic Outhouse, Bender, Bitburger Pils, Burrito, ~Tequila~, Buffalo Wings, Bob, Doug, BeerAdvocate, Blue Moon, Redhook Ale Brewery, Lagunitas Brewing, Chief Inspector Clouseau, ROGUE ALES, CJK's dad, WBS, Mary Jane, ~Mediterranea~CORPORATE HUSTLER & PHILANTHROPIST, Herr Rossi, The Krabbz, drunk line, princess gaia, Revolver, Tyranny of Time, Megan, RaceTrackBeerBongMan, ~Sassy~, Nick Fusillo, King Awesome, Colin, Big Boy, Allison, STEVE, Horatio Lee Jenkins, Sons of Morrigan, V I N C E, *Lil Miss Britt*, ☆BRANDY☆™, Jøn, BlkRadio, BRECORP, donkey expert, Todd Ray, C-D, Locker Room, CREEPY ANGEL, punks not dead, Hagrid, betty michael, chris, Joe The Mutha Fuckin Juggalo, Kyle, *STEVE*, Buck F., Jonah, Tammi, 369 rekchordz, Vinnie, †he Øffi© i@! Ünøffi©i@L M@†† ® e$†ivÓ, BLUNT
BEER has 2,424 friends (69 shown). Click here to add BEER as a friend. |
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Tags |
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BEER's profile has been tagged with the following keywords. Click a tag to search for profiles with the same tags. hildegard of bingen, western antiquity, 1800s inventions, sumarians, pottery jars, national corporations, egyptian texts, roasting machines, backyard parties, steam engine, ancient rome, mid 1700s, long periods, flavors, hydrometer, 1400s, medicinal purposes, bitters, hops, medieval times |
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