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 JoeLake's Profile |
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| Age: | 100 years old |
| Sex: | Male |
| Location: | NW Burbs (Chicago), ILLINOIS |
| Country: |  United States |
| Height: | 5' 7" |
| BodyType: | Athletic |
| Zodiac: |  Aries (Mar 21 - Apr 19) |
| Last Login: | Nov 5, 2007 (787 days back) |
| I am Here For Friends and Networking. | |
About Me |
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I'm a neurotic asshole.... you're the reason .....No, not kidding.....I freak out....yeah, cuz of you.....ie.... dive under my kitchen table... yell.... constrict into the fetal position....and make this face :O~ ....and you fucking laugh.. Well, thank you, Ladies and Gentlemen...if you knew me... you'd know I'm here all week....under my fucking table..diving..screaming...contricting.....but....haha... smart enough to keep a notepad nearby.... in pain.... you laugh....ok, I get it......Fuck you and Thanks I tell jokes in clubs.....Besides a surfer, a front man in a punk rock band, and a pro football player....a Comic is all I ever wanted to be....I'd shit and die of a heart attack if I saw a shark in the water, Billy Idol fukin beat me to it, and I kinda suck at football....mix all that failure together.....COMEDIAN!! MY FIRST FLYER FOR MY FIRST SHOW IN CHICAGO AND HERE I AM AT THE SHOW Headlining August 22nd, 2007 I stay in shape.....that means I'm not fukin fat.....but I smoke....So...how serious can I be....Answer: I'm more serious than fat....but Copyright 2007 Visual Eden Studios Safe to say if I'm chased with a knife..I'm gonna stay and fight....my wife told me one day that I'm not "that much" of a pussy, so I don't like my chances anymore...but I can't run very far on the small part of one lung reserved for running....... so....If you REALLY have to stab someone, go after a smoker........If they run... just wait, chuckle, and stroll up to the poor-gasping-for-air-bastard.....stab away......they're tired....you won't even break a sweat....Hey....that's energy to flee the scene Read the Blogs...cuz I typed them....that reason is acceptable on 5 continents...subscribe to me blogs, mates.. VISIT JOELAKECOMEDY.COM - CLICK HERE!!!! Buy JoeLake merchandise & support comedy HERE!!! Copyright 2006 Visual Eden Studios |
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My Interests |
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| I write more hours in the day than I'd like to admit...so, no matter what you think, I never write...I love the sport of football...DaBears.....I'm a Cubs fan....I do lots O push-ups and sit-ups....I like mirrors...which leads to the next paragraph..... I am confident my prayer meetings will propel me...quickly.....Vroooooom....to comedy fame....and somebody will sue when I'm famous......because this picture........and the neighbors Parrot........were responsible for them doin speed.....I'll post the picture of the bird when it happens...But Hey......4 Day Services.....all we do is write....well, everyone else writes.....I just talk a lot For Christ's sake.....Eat your Broccoli....Don't do Drugs Anyway........ This is what I look like thinking about Music.....and changing an elderly person's loaded diaper....So I'll talk about Music ...not old peoples' stool......scroll.... Copyright 2006 Visual Eden Studios |
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I'd like to meet:I'd like to meet all of you...Whether I'm walking off a stage or just in the Club enjoying the show...But in "choosing" who I'd like to meet.....Let me seeeee...I'd like to meet Mr. Kotter and Freddy 'boom boom' Washington...and, I guess telling jokes to Marsha Strassman with some black guy on the fire escape would be ok, but you're gonna have to throw in a Carlton the door man....Cuz if you're gonna fuk up Kotter, I want a little Rhoda...and with the right amount of LSD....I could be Gabe Kaplan...... AND ANYONE WHO WANTS TO TALK ABOUT STAGE TIME... contact my MANAGEMENT |
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Music:Let me see...Im thinking Sex Pistols...John Lydon and Sid...too bad for me ...I'm a frustrated front man....still wanna be one...but only in a punk rock band..I'm a big fan of the one to three minute punk rock songs....I have a huge focus issue....I do like a lot of other types of music, tho, but its easier to talk about the one I dont like......Country MusicCopyright 2007 Visual Eden Studios Me no like..not even a woman and what a woman has... (yes, that would be her pussy and Country ruined it)... could make me sit at Billy Bobs for more than an hour...sorry, at least you know I really tried... I appreciate musical talent, tho....I have zero....... and it amazes me to see instruments make sounds....just not country sounds....like, blink da chling da chwing da boing oing oing..... that shit gives me a siezure.... and if I'm really drunk.... I've thrown up before due to a "floing woing woing....plaawwanngg" so why try to make me like it...I'll barf ......noreallyimnotkiddingonebitactually *And I got this for next to nothin..... Reservior Joe... Copyright 2006 Visual Eden Studios |
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Movies:Love to watch them, Johnny Depp and Gary Oldman are my favorite actors...and Mickey Rourke...But...Reservior Dogs and Sid and Nancy are my favorites.Someone said I look like the Rourke boy in this one...ok, headshot Copyright 2006 Visual Eden Studios |
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Television:Higgins and Robin Masters were the same person the last time I "tuned in"....I don't know...? I look pretty cool in this picture, tho.....Taken for FUCT fashions Copyright 2006 Visual Eden Studios GET FUCT |
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Books:On the technique of Acting...Michael Chekhov |
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Heroes:My Grandpaand Honorable Mention Hero...... The Chicago Cubs Fuking the biggest losers anywhere for anything.....and it doesn't matter |
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My Background and Lifestyle |
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| MaritalStatus: | Married |
| Hometown: | Valparaiso |
| Occupation: | Stand up comic, writer, actor, model, voice overs |
My Pictures |
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My Blog |
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Movies Blog |
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| I watch movies...If you talk during them, I will punch you.......cuz if you talked during this one.....I never woulda been able to follow it.....great dialogue...watch "Brick" "Hope you have some ... Posted by JoeLake on Sun, 04 Nov 2007 07:29:00 PST |
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Joke Thieves |
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| Here ya go....I'm a big fan of giving people all the credit they deserve....black eyes, fat lips, and my dental plan is pretty cool, too...http://media.putfile.com/Joe-Rogan-Exposes-Joke-Thieve
s"what ... Posted by JoeLake on Mon, 29 Oct 2007 02:42:00 PST |
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Happy Halloween |
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| It's not treat or treat...it's trick or treat, right?.....I choose trick.... scaring the living dogshit out of kids is how I choose to make them pay for the fucking candy if its all the same to you...... Posted by JoeLake on Sun, 28 Oct 2007 07:55:00 PST |
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I had Cramps |
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| Tuesday is my favorite day.......nobody wants it and it's mine....Wow, forever and a day it has been.. I'm such a fukin retarded yoda right now...blogging back to I am?....gayever have a cramp between... Posted by JoeLake on Wed, 17 Oct 2007 07:31:00 PST |
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Attention Chicago Bears Fans!!! |
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| Enjoy my new, improved words to my beloved Chicago Bears fight song....(Bear Down Chicago Bears)The following words are ©2007JoeLakeComedy"Without.....RexandCed".....We'll make a play-we won't look ga... Posted by JoeLake on Thu, 13 Sep 2007 07:31:00 PST |
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No Answer?...Well... |
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| So... I'm taking a narcissistic scroll down my profile... and I get to the section on "orientation"....I had no idea it said 'no answer'....and I thought well, maybe I should answer this...if nothing ... Posted by JoeLake on Tue, 28 Aug 2007 06:34:00 PST |
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The same date over and over...9/11 |
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| Anybody else have to write the date a lot today....As I was writing bogus checks to migrant workers....I know, I know.....I should be more aware of the ink usage....butIt reminded me to strap myself i... Posted by JoeLake on Wed, 12 Sep 2007 07:17:00 PST |
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Saturday, September 15th |
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| I will be hosting the show at Cigars and Stripes, Saturday...September 15th....cigarsandstripes.com is their website/info/locationand 9pm is a good time....8:30 if you're one of those "on-time" neurot... Posted by JoeLake on Thu, 06 Sep 2007 04:10:00 PST |
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ok fuck this |
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| My Friends are all fucked up..but now the ones on myspace?.....fuk....I deleted people who turned into Red X's..then Tom says, Nooo..don't!!!....I changed pics on my page...now, my page looks like a r... Posted by JoeLake on Sat, 25 Aug 2007 06:05:00 PST |
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So, Im a headliner now |
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| Tonight's show was a coming out...didn't mean for it to be... didnt see it coming...I had two plus hours of unexpected, unprepared, and un-warned new material...off the cuff..all by my lonesome...a ni... Posted by JoeLake on Thu, 23 Aug 2007 03:06:00 PST |
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My Friends |
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Eden, Visual Eden Studios, Yes that's really me!, BME SEP Artist Management, Fuct, Chicago Bears™, Richard Pryor, Magnum, PI, PITBULL!!, DARREN CARTER, CIGARS AND STRIPES, Comic Strip Live NYC, La Jolla Comedy Store, Zanies Comedy Club, RIDDLES COMEDY CLUB, Chicago, World Famous Laugh Factory, Bent Hanlen, Bill Murray, Dave Attell, Alonzo Bodden, Michael J, KILLER ACTS INCORPORATED, Tim Wright, Jillykewl, otto, ARDIEFUQUA, Clint, Milca, ATM, Donna, Jay Mohr, Troy, Recoildi, Jug Simple, Tommy Chong, Timmay, Juliette and The Licks, METAL SANAZ, Sarcadam, Heather, Simple Man, Larry, Melissa Anne, The Smoking Ban Stinks, slimmix, Michelle McNerlin Photography, Rhonda, T.P. Lucas, Susan, Stein Roar (norskmusikk.org), *A Perverse Incentive*, Johnny Roxx, Xtremepoems©, The Joans, RAE, JDFelip, joel!
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Tags |
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JoeLake's profile has been tagged with the following keywords. Click a tag to search for profiles with the same tags. football player, pro football, laugh, comic writer, stand up comic, punk rock band, actor model, youre the reason, yell, shark in the water, first flyer, thank you ladies, fukin, fetal position, billy idol, smart enough, neurotic, kitchen table, ladies and gentlemen, freak out |
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