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 Mitch Hedberg's Profile |
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If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals because you will run out. |
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| Age: | 40 years old |
| Sex: | Male |
| Location: | SEATTLE, Washington |
| Country: |  United States |
| Zodiac: |  Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20) |
| Last Login: | Apr 21, 2008 (616 days back) |
About Me |
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| "Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something.""The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.""Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy ... all damn day! In fact, if you wear a backpack and a turtle-neck, it's like a weak midget trying to bring you down!""I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semicircle.""I would imagine if you understood Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.""I used to do drugs. I still do drugs. But I used to, too.""At my hotel room, my friend came over and asked to use the phone. I said 'Certainly.' He said, 'Do I need to dial 9?' I say 'Yeah. Especially if it's in the number. You can try four and five back-to-back real quick.'""When someone hands you a flier, it's like they're saying, 'Here, you throw this away.'""I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kebobs.""I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.""I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. Damn." | |
My Interests |
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| Stand up comedy | |
I'd like to meet:A cool Duck, I was in downtown Boise, Idaho, and I saw a duck, and I knew the duck was lost, 'cause ducks ain't s'posed to be downtown. There's nothin' for 'em there. So I went to a Subway sandwich shop, I said, "Let me have a bun." But she wouldn't sell me just the bun, she said that I had to have something on it. She told me it's against regulations for Subway to sell just the bun. I guess the two halves ain't supposed to touch. So I said, "Alright, well, put some lettuce on it," which she did. She said, "That'll be $1.75." I said, "It's for a duck." And they said, "All right, well, then it's free." See, I did not know that. Ducks eat for free at Subway! Had I known that, I would have ordered a much larger sandwich. "Let me have the Steak Fajita Sub - but don't bother ringing it up, it's for a duck! There are six ducks out there, and they all want Sun Chips!" |
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My Background and Lifestyle |
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| MaritalStatus: | Married |
| SexualOrientation: | Straight |
| Hometown: | St. Paul, Minnesota |
| Smoker: | Yes |
| Drinker: | Yes |
| Education: | High school |
My Friends |
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Scott Hammer says GO BIG BLUE!!!, ~♠~YeS yOu CaN~♠~, the John Thomas Music project, Cassandra, Sam, Keith, GONIA, JC/JZ, Fairy addictive, Kiss Me, Hotties For Sale!, Beach Princess, dj deo gee, VR-{(It's necessary to be Insane)}, ♥Glam Bipolar☮, AIR, ?, Mark, Åπ∂®£W, Knee, POPPA~CHILL, BLA$E, Steve, K i T a N a, Self ∞ Fulfilling ∞ Prophecy, ♥Cara Dude ♥, Eric, Baby Beasley, Christian[Chaos], Kristin Thomas, Randy, Selva Sebo, Tyler, Johnny Cashed (Chitto), JC, Dave, TAH-da, God Almighty, Wax Poetic, nessanmike☆, Cherie Gillette Fairy Godmother, Raoul Tiger, Tony, Ves, Ruben, I Burn With A Fire... Walk With Me, SKA-TT
Mitch Hedberg has 928 friends (47 shown). Click here to add Mitch Hedberg as a friend. |
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Tags |
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Mitch Hedberg's profile has been tagged with the following keywords. Click a tag to search for profiles with the same tags. subway sandwich shop, tap dancer, count sheep, shish kebobs, st paul minnesota, steak fajita, morse code, turtle neck, boise idaho, endangered animals, dial 9, target, mitch hedberg, semicircle, seattle washington, turtleneck, boiling water, theyre, flier |
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