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 LL Crist J's Profile |
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| Age: | 28 years old |
| Sex: | Male |
| Location: | DELRAY BEACH, Florida |
| Country: |  United States |
| Height: | 5' 11" |
| BodyType: | Some extra baggage |
| Zodiac: |  Capricorn (Dec 22- Jan 19) |
| Last Login: | Jun 3, 2008 (125 days back) |
| I am Here For Friends and Networking. | |
About Me |
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| Born and raised on the beaches of South Florida, I have traveled too many places just to visit bars and spit game at women in different languages. I like to engage in spontaneous road trips- usually crashing at some unsuspecting family's house with people whom we've never met, but are very nice none the less. People frequently lose their sense of humor when I begin talking about the teenage daughter's perky breasts and ass or catch me with the family dog licking my balls. I have been on radio, television and in porn. I do stand-up comedy for the free drinks and the uninhibited sex that follows. Laughter is the world's greatest aphrodisiac. I, on occasion, have attempted to be a productive member of society, but constantly get sidetracked by all the vices to which I hold near and dear to my heart. Im pretty sure I have ADD? Or maybe just more interested in life via caffeine induced haze? Who the fuck knows... I have drank everything put in front of me. I have gotten head from a Brasilian woman who I later found to have a penis. ("Aonde eu acho as meninas com pintos???" -horrible translation book) Yes, I did her anyway. I have had quite a few adventures with quite a few people. I have awoken naked in places you have never been to before. I have ways to tickle you that you may not find amusing. I have NOT, however, made out with your dad... no matter whatt he tells you.That means I fuck like a champ... Nice.span.blacktext12 img {display:none | |
My Interests |
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| In my short time gracing this wonderful Earth Ive been exposed, and have also taken notice to a whole helluva lot of things that have sparked my interest. If you name it, Im probably into it. Well, not stuff like plane crashes and Kenny G. You just have to draw a line somewhere. You sick fuckers. Go to Swellinfo.com for local surf forecasts . Go to Swellinfo.com for local surf forecasts . Go to Swellinfo.com for free local Surf Forecasts , Surf Reports, Surf / Swell timelines, and more. Go to wavewatch.com for your local surf forecasts TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey Name: Crist "is that MY ASS??" Jarrett Birthday: 23 di Dicembre Birthplace: Boynton Beach, Florida Current Location: Delray Beach, Florida Eye Color: 'Ocean' Hair Color: currently dark brown Height: 5'11" Right Handed or Left Handed: ambidexterous Your Heritage: Italian, German, English The Shoes You Wore Today: Pumas as usual Your Weakness: Good surf, women, booze, cars, good times, Miami Hurricanes, Boston Red Sox Your Fears: Not leaving a mark Your Perfect Pizza: Mario the Baker's Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Attain my dream job of manually masturbating caged animals for the use of artificial insemination Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: Im all over it Thoughts First Waking Up: How in the hell did I end up here? And where are my damn pants!? Your Best Physical Feature: My Kickstand. Your Bedtime: When I finally pass out. Your Most Missed Memory: Spontanious road trips to hunt for waves. Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi... with Three Olives Cherry McDonalds or Burger King: Good Times Single or Group Dates: Gang Bang Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Tea Bags. Chocolate or Vanilla: Dont bring race into this! Cappuccino or Coffee: Cafe Cubano Do you Smoke: only while drinking, and Im 'that guy' who bums them. I owe people cartons. Do you Swear: like a fucking sailor, bitch Do you Sing: In the car, in the shower and in drunken revely! Do you Shower Daily: yep Have you Been in Love: sure Do you want to go to College: Id probably end up like Van Do you believe in yourself: I believe I can fly Do you get Motion Sickness: nope Do you think you are Attractive: In the right lighting, with several drinks... I think Im a sexy bitch at that point. Are you a Health Freak: no Do you get along with your Parents: absolutely Do you like Thunderstorms: I have to say that I do Do you play an Instrument: pan flute, turtle drums and the bull horn. In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: There was last night, the night before and all those other nights... So, yes. Yes I have. In the past month have you Smoked: only socially In the past month have you been on Drugs: Define "drugs" In the past month have you gone on a Date: wouldnt consider anything really a date. In the past month have you gone to a Mall: just to jiz on Nik at PacSun In the past month have you eaten a beautiful round ass: BUTT of course! Did you get that pun? did ya?. In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Sashimi In the past month have you been on Stage: Only at the Donkey Show. In the past month have you been dry humped: daily. In the past month have you shaved your body: Last night. In the past month have you slapped a ho: Gotta keep your pimp hand strong. Ever been Drunk: Almost always am. Ever been called a Tease: and a whore, by the same person. Ever been Beaten up: I can hold my own Ever Shoplifted: young and dumb. How do you want to Die: Fat, bloaded and on the toilet like Elvis. No. Doing something completely insane. What do you want to be when you Grow Up: I dont want to grow up... much more. What country would you most like to Visit: Brasil, Italia, England. Ill go back anywhere in the caribbean again, too. In a Girl... Favourite Eye Color: blue or green, but doesnt really matter. All comers welcome! Favourite Hair Color: dont necessarily have a favorite. I do like reddish? Like I said- all are welcome Short or Long Hair: doesnt matter Height: doesnt matter Weight: doesnt matter Best Clothing Style: seriously?? doesnt matter!!! Number of Drugs I have taken: whatt do numbers really mean any way? Number of CDs I own: thousands... I used to work in radio and got tons of freebees Number of Piercings: Just Ears and penis, nothing crazy. Number of Tattoos: one now, working on a new one. Number of things in my Past I Regret: no regrets other than not keeping up with people I care about... Crist will go to jail for ... Making sweet love to a religious symbol 'What sexual activity will you go to jail for?' at QuizUniverse.com You Are Rum You're the life of the party, and a total flirt. When you drink, you're serious about getting drunk! You'll take any shot that's offered up to you. And you're never afraid of eating the worm... or a woman's ass. How to make a Crist Ingredients: 1 part pride 3 parts silliness 3 parts bed-rocking sex Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Top it off with a sprinkle of emotion and enjoy! Username:..name="uname" ..type=submit value="How do you make a 'you'?" |
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I'd like to meet:Well? I know the Centaur. I know a guy named Nacho, a Brasilian Hebrew, a bunch of WOPs. I know some DAMN FINE bartenders and the degenerates they serve. Do I know you???..People Generally Dispise Me, Not These Idiots: Over 6430 People agree that Crist Jarrett is a Great Lay! Wahine Noochitude Guantanamo Guererro Dan~Scream Mi Meghan The Sista Suck my Nik GOOB*STAR Special K Rockstar J Cuban Fire Cajun Beauty Skweekers Screffanie Stephanie The Notorious B.A.L.L.A.R.D. Irish Puerto Rican His Royal Pete-ness Da Schmoo THORNSTAR HURLS! Bat Wing My name is Valentin Love Rod Cajun Oger Footlong Twinkie See ALL the notches in the MySpace bed post |
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Music:Too much to name, my entire life has a background soundtrack. It usually sound like the "Local on the 8's" song. What's in my CD changer in the car right now? Digable Planets, Lupe Fiasco, Bob Marley, Method Man, BassBin Twins, Dead Kennedys, Fear Factory, 311, Beastie Boys, NoocH (my brother) Star9-Love Mafia (my bud), Rage against the Machine |
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Movies:DAMNIT! Again, too many to name, but here are a few: ANY Kevin Smith film (yes even Jersey Girl), Snatch, Lock Stock, Fear and Loathing, Oceans 11, Oceans 12, Fast and Furious, 2F2F, Tokyo Drift, Van Wilder, Rise of Taj, Harold and Kumar, Road Trip, any American Pie series, Anchorman, Oldschool, Animal House, Resivour Dogs, High Fidelity, Go, Dude wheres my Car, Fight Club, Teenage Trannies who like Girls 14, Cum Fart Cocktails... wait how'd those get in there?? American Psycho, MEAN MACHINE, Varsity Blues, Friday Night Lights, Victory, 40 Year Old Virgin, Wedding Crashers, the ones I make with hidden cameras... oh shut up already, no ones even read this far. |
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Television:Saturday Night Live- not that im ever home for it, Scrubs, 24, Sports- like the Lingerie Bowl, Letterman, Conan, Craig Ferguson, Family Guy, the Food Network, Girls behaving badly, southpark, and the Weather Channel.. I love the fucking Weather Channel.. |
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Books:Oooo... aaahh... I read everything. Never did read books for school ("What required reading list? I never got it!"), but I love them now. Mostly biographies or histories of certain topics, but I also read almost anything: Michael Crichton, Tom Clancy, the Sun-Sentinel, the Palm Beach Post, the Miami Herald, Boston Herald (I like to be informed) the Oprah book club... jk, random peoples blogs, my car's owners manual, short stories, Super Street, Transworld Surf, the "terms and conditions" link, the advertisments at the top of this page, notes from people I find in pants I havent worn since 1997, Penthouse letters, the random stuff I find in my wallet, maps (I love maps), books in italian, the 'no postage necessary' box on business reply mail, myspace member profiles, the directions..... |
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Heroes:Al Gore (remember- he invented the internet), Albert Einstein, MLKJr, Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton, Werner von Braun, Marty McFly and Doc Brown, My Parents- God Bless them for raising me, Jimmy Buffet (drunk on a boat in the Keys with no worries- can it get any better?), Homer Simpson, Al Bundy and Im a pretty cool mother fucker myself.. |
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My Background and Lifestyle |
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| MaritalStatus: | Swinger |
| Ethnicity: | Black / African descent |
| SexualOrientation: | Straight |
| Hometown: | Holiday City, FL |
| Children: | Someday |
| Education: | Some college |
| Occupation: | Village Bicycle |
My Pictures |
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My Blog |
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Running down a dream... (yes its about the Sox) |
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| "Oh no, I was totally glass half full! Untill last 5th inning last night- then I was glass half empty... and then someone pissed in it."-Me this morningSo... Whatts up?...Yeah...Forget about the now f... Posted by LL Crist J on Wed, 17 Oct 2007 10:16:00 PST |
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Not everyone who wanders is lost... |
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| "Holy crap!!! Doritos Collisions! Hot wings and blue cheese!!!"-ScreamSoooo... Sitting in an airport terminal is fun... Im here at gate D1 if anyone wants to come visit in the next half hour. It doesn... Posted by LL Crist J on Wed, 26 Sep 2007 08:53:00 PST |
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Not for the faint of heart, easily impregnated, or those prone to random self-cannibalism |
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| "Tonight, youre getting your dick sucked!"-Tracy Morgan, while 3 inches from my face.Lesson of the week: Even if you have ninja-jungle cat-like reflexes from years of training as a world class goalkee... Posted by LL Crist J on Mon, 23 Jul 2007 10:45:00 PST |
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Tired, dizzy and heavily medicated. |
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| "I dont care if theyre implants- If I can touch em, theyre real!"-MeOkay, so I copped out on the last one after the Red Sox/Spankmees rhetoric started flying- sue me. Its that time of year and I get s... Posted by LL Crist J on Thu, 29 Mar 2007 02:57:00 PST |
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Backstage at the Donkey Show |
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| "I don't have a hangover- I took 15 Advil at like 4am."-MeIm back in the saddle again. Thats right you beautiful people, Im a drinker again!No applause necessary.This is actually going to be a half-as... Posted by LL Crist J on Tue, 20 Mar 2007 11:44:00 PST |
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Danielle Lynn Jarrett... whatt a beautiful name. |
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| "Are you telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?"-J.C.Im so sick of holding this in, but Ive got to just throw this out there. Ill take care of you so much better ... Posted by LL Crist J on Thu, 15 Mar 2007 07:27:00 PST |
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Planet Station under no control |
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| "Youre not gonna have a normal day if a homeless dude busts a nut on your forehead on the bus at 830 in the morning. Im sure that fucks your day up somehow."- DaveIve had a lot of time on my hands lat... Posted by LL Crist J on Mon, 29 Jan 2007 01:54:00 PST |
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<Insert witty title here> |
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| I was attacked today by a homeless person at a gas satation. During the attack he stabbed me with a needle. Since then Ive been at the hospital pretty much all day getting loaded up with every disease... Posted by LL Crist J on Thu, 18 Jan 2007 07:10:00 PST |
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Drinking town with a baseball problem |
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| "I spread my butt cheeks for pictures under the name Mike Honcho"-John C. ReillyToday is my Mom's Birthday, so every single one of you vetter wish her a Happy Birthday! Especially when she has agreed ... Posted by LL Crist J on Wed, 10 Jan 2007 11:29:00 PST |
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I am not your baby daddy. |
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| "In the heat of the moment, its perfectly acceptable to go ass-to-mouth."- Rosario DawsonAppearantly 2006 just ended.Whatt the hell is up with that?Did anyone else notice that whole bitch of a year ju... Posted by LL Crist J on Mon, 01 Jan 2007 12:26:00 PST |
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My Friends |
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MMc, Hands Held High, ~Danielle~, Allison, Nicholas Awesome, ebag, K, chuck, Stephanie, Steph, SpEaK nO eViL, Mrs. Jarrett, Kellye, uncle schmoocoo, Great Manatees of Destruction, JoeyPwnsJoo, Phill, Kevins Social Aid and Pleasure Club, The Son of Tell, scott ish, john, Puerto Hickan, Missy, Christine, >Brielle<, LORI, Courtney B, Katherine, Alexandra, J. Lund, Italia Bella, A N N A, Eddie, Mz.Chievous, Ana Banana, Veronica, Christina ♥, ElyssaJoy, ~Tara Lenai~, break42, Heather, Bigrich73, kate, Jennifer *
LL Crist J has 268 friends (44 shown). Click here to add LL Crist J as a friend. |
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Tags |
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LL Crist J's profile has been tagged with the following keywords. Click a tag to search for profiles with the same tags. delray beach florida, village bicycle, brasilian woman, perky breasts, translation book, free drinks, guererro, uninhibited sex, holiday city, productive member, crist, different languages, teenage daughters, african descent, degenerates, family dog, sense of humor, wahine, radio television, bartenders |
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